Miss you little boy. Night night. Wait for me.
When Freddie died, Max and I attended his funeral almost alone. We had just our doctor/nurse/midwife team and one friend as a witness, a friend who happens to bridge the gap between real life and those people who cared for us.It is hard to explain why we made that decision, except that I felt I […]
A Million Feelings, a photo by Merrily Me on Flickr.
From Rich & Ella in Australia, a photo by Merrily Me on Flickr. Remembering Freddie on his birthday. I also made a picture to send to StillLife 365. I’m very grateful to Angie for featuring it on his birthday. Fran wrote about him too. Angela lit a candle for him… thank you. So did Cara; […]
The one that starts with things endings and ends with things beginning and covers up an awful lot of wondering “how could you?” It has been a horrible week; I’ve cried harder this week than I have all year, mostly bout things I can’t write and partly because anything stressful turns into more tears about […]
Image Credit: University of Michigan In the nights following Freddie’s death, Max and I sat on the sofa, wrapped in a duvet, clinging to each other. We didn’t say much, we didn’t even cry much. We managed to have a spectacular row about a camping weekend and we managed to feed and put children to […]
Hey, little boy. I see you.
Thanks to the arrival, today, of my period, I have passed a milestone, the bitterest yet. I have to sit out next month in this grim and vile trying to conceive malarkey and so I can no longer be pregnant by Freddie’s first birthday. I can no longer have a rainbow baby in 2011. Anything […]