It's very hard to believe that three years ago I was watching my son struggle through his last night. Truth be told, it's very hard to believe at times that I had a first son, the Bene's Internet abbreviation is DS2 not DS1. That Freddie came first, even though now sometimes I look at his […]
I have walked out of a maternity unit leaving my dead newborn son behind me. I have driven home, unaware that I left the building in my pyjamas and walked across the car park in socks and stared blankly at the car in front for a 20 minute journey home; that car had a ‘baby […]
Having let myself think it would get easier when I started to feel movement, I’m now finding it isn’t easier at all. This baby goes through phases of movement, which my head knows is normal, but my heart isn’t dealing with that at all. Yesterday, for the first time, I found myself thinking “we aren’t […]
When someone dies, people tell you a lot about the stages of grief. I believe there are 4; it says something, though I’m not sure what, that I can only ever remember 3 of them at a time. Right now though, I know exactly which one I’m fighting with: anger. I’m angry and I’m frightened […]
Miss you little boy. Night night. Wait for me.
From Rich & Ella in Australia, a photo by Merrily Me on Flickr. Remembering Freddie on his birthday. I also made a picture to send to StillLife 365. I’m very grateful to Angie for featuring it on his birthday. Fran wrote about him too. Angela lit a candle for him… thank you. So did Cara; […]