I don’t know how old I was when I saw the film Philadelphia; I saw it at the cinema, with my friend who had a close family friend dying of AIDS at the time, contracted while working in Africa before anyone knew to be wary. We were teenagers. I don’t think I’ve seen the film […]
Farewell Fiver
On Friday morning our perhaps most beloved of all of us rabbit, died. Max went out to find him stretched peacefully out in their mini house. There was no evidence of anything wrong, he was chunky ad his eyes were clear and no obvious swellings or anything. He wasn’t particularly old, just 4 1/2 years, […]
Kidding Myself
Having let myself think it would get easier when I started to feel movement, I’m now finding it isn’t easier at all. This baby goes through phases of movement, which my head knows is normal, but my heart isn’t dealing with that at all. Yesterday, for the first time, I found myself thinking “we aren’t […]
Dreams : One : Two : Three
We forgot to go to Freddie’s funeral. We were busy, the girls were alive and needed us and life goes on and… oh my word, it was today and we forgot. Max was okay with it; after all, it was just a procedure, he didn’t need us there, the girls needed us. It was just […]
Defying Gravity
This is the name of the song which has been sung around here so much recently that eventually I sent an email to the girls theatre teacher informing them that she was likely to get custody of them quite soon 😆 This week they were at a workshop, rehearsing a short version of the show […]
All a bit complicated
There are a lot of things in this post. Some reasons to chatter and some reasons why I haven’t been doing so much of that too. Sometimes the only way forward is to tumble it out and let anyone who wants to sift the melting pot. There is the large and the small tucked into […]
A Tale of Three Blankets
In terms of things, I think it is possible this is my greatest ever creation. It’s the culmination of a years worth of work, a square a week, through one of the toughest years of my life. It has a story, a huge and enormous story, a story no mother would ever want to tell. […]
Kestor Bliss
Kestor is our place. it’s the place Max took me on our first Dartmoor walk together, the place we got lost in fog together, the place we have walked out children at all the ages they have been. It’s his second ‘home’ tor, nestling above Chagford and Thorn where his Gran lived and where he […]
Admitting Small Elements of Defeat to Stay Standing
It??s been a rough week. The kids are all unwell and have been, in varying combinations, since last Thursday. Fran came down with another sore throat and got progressively worse all weekend; despite having a friend on sleep over, she needed all the pain killers going to keep her upright, so on Monday I took […]
Blanket Watch
The sanity blanket is nearing completion. It was 8 squares left and then I decided it wanted it to be 7×7 so now it is back to being 9. I really want this done now; I want it finished by the end of May, so I am knitting MADLY. Argh. I think it is good […]
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