This time five years ago we were heading to the end. Tonight I’ll light the 2015 candles for the second to last time and from 9.15am tomorrow we will be starting the 6th year of life as a couple who lost a child. It seems impossible to believe it has been so long. It seems […]
Fifth Birthday
We had a good day. There is always a conscious group effort to be happy in his birthday, not sad. What would be the point, after all? We went back to Anglesey Anney this year. The weather had threatened to be really awful, so we didn’t make big plans and then Josie came down […]
Soothing Stitches: Wreath Update
I spent the weekend away in Liverpool with most of my girls which, given where we live, meant a fair bit of time on trains. I didn’t crochet as much as I intended and it was a very busy weekend but I have made progress. It needs to be finished by Wednesday night though, […]
Almost 5 years.
We’ve been listening to Wolf Hall; Max is highly familiar with it, having read it several times over the last few years. I’ve always shied away from it. I’m not sure why I haven’t wanted to read it, perhaps in case the hype felt overdone and the book disappointed me. I’m a huge fan of […]
Making Christmas.
I don’t really want Christmas this year. Not in the same way that the last 4 Christmases have been their own tiny version of hell (I can’t believe this is our 5th Christmas without Freddie any more than I can believe it 3rd Christmas with Bene) but in a glum way, a dissatisfied with what […]
The moany one.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this blog and what it is still okay to say on it. I was thinking today about voice and lost mojo and keeping up appearances and stiff upper lips and not going on about stuff and being brave and life goes on ish and how, because the girls […]
Going up North.
As previously mentioned, Fran recently got selected to play Touch Rugby for the Northern Stars, the north of England Under 18 squad. This has meant some training days and given where we live is really not-very-northern-at-all, the cost implication of this is pretty high. Having just had a week where the car cost us £600 […]
Everyone.
You wouldn’t know it, but this photo has all my children in it. When we first came here, all that time ago, 6 weeks after Freddie, I hunted for him. I found him here, by the stepping stones at this river. It’s the only place I’ve ever really felt him, in the swish of the […]
The boy, the bed & the bedroom.
After 2.5 years, give it take the few cot months before the chest infections, this happened at nap time today. He’s co slept almost his whole life he naps on a mat at nursery but here he feeds to sleep and sleeps in our bed. Mostly he sleeps through if he has daddy for company; […]
Out of date.
Max and the girls had a model kit out at the weekend. It’s been in the garage, half made, for I don’t know how long, wrapped in newspaper, congealing paints, glue that has had long enough to go off and not stick properly. A relic of a different time. I couldn’t have told you when […]
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