There was a time when I sat here and splurged out my feelings and our comings and goings and doings. The internet used to be a safe place to do so, relatively speaking. There were days when I could splurge out my feelings and make reference obliquely to things that were going on where I […]
Making Christmas.
I don’t really want Christmas this year. Not in the same way that the last 4 Christmases have been their own tiny version of hell (I can’t believe this is our 5th Christmas without Freddie any more than I can believe it 3rd Christmas with Bene) but in a glum way, a dissatisfied with what […]
The moany one.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this blog and what it is still okay to say on it. I was thinking today about voice and lost mojo and keeping up appearances and stiff upper lips and not going on about stuff and being brave and life goes on ish and how, because the girls […]
Taking care.
This was a weekend for reasserting myself and regrouping. Taking down time to be outside and enjoying the fragments of beauty I have in my space. Spending time with myself and chewing over what isn’t right at the moment. Building some friendships. I’ve run a lot. I passed a milestone today in running 24/26 minutes, […]
Baggage and depression. It's all in the edit.
We all have our baggage. We all walk out the doors some days with a spot on our chin, feeling fat, frumpy, uninteresting and small. Our clothes fit wrong and we haven’t achieved what we want and the kids are cross and worrying us and we’ve not written the novel in our head or got […]
The Ten Things That Make Me & Us.
A person, a family, are far more than a collection of things, ailments, personalities, looks, interests and abilities. What I notice more than anything about having a large family, is how we all alter with each other; each little change brings about something new. With the exiting of Amelie from every day home ed, Maddy […]
I mind, actually.
I commented on a status the other day that at least reaching our thirties meant we embraced an age of being comfortable in our skin. That it was a good age to be. Despite everything that has happened, being in my thirties has been the age I have been happiest about myself. I’m fatter, plainer […]
Oh, you know what… behave.
Light and fluffy. Light and fluffy. Must try harder. If this 8 seconds of video doesn’t make you smile, I don’t know what will 🙂 This is Bene in his new Stokke Sleepi. There is no way we could have afforded this – he would have had a travel cot – but we were gifted […]
Admitting Small Elements of Defeat to Stay Standing
It??s been a rough week. The kids are all unwell and have been, in varying combinations, since last Thursday. Fran came down with another sore throat and got progressively worse all weekend; despite having a friend on sleep over, she needed all the pain killers going to keep her upright, so on Monday I took […]
Marshalling Mojo
Recently, Jax wrote about her mojo being AWOL. We’ve had some similarities in our life over the last few years, Jax and I – a significant loss(es) each, a long period of trying to be pregnant, juggling work and home educating. And I certainly know what she means about mojo upping and leaving (I hope […]
