Oh i could twist and turn in the mud of a good old wallow tonight. But I’ll spare you the agony; I think it would probably be gratuitous and maybe I’ll need to do it more another night. So instead, let me tell you how I spent the day with the two girls who were […]
Posting about Poo.
I’m doing this one because I need a laugh 😆 and because, dammit, if after 5 children you can’t have anecdotes and stories about poo, what the hell do you have? So girls, this one is for you lot on your wedding days – if me and daddy are not there for some reason, promise […]
Live in the now
Impossible not to live in the now. April is always a month of the past, has always been the month where I looked back and was surprised the life goes on, the world keeps spinning, the days pass. The month of shoots and sprouting and Spring, when things appear and the earth smells fresh. How […]
Mother's Day
I’m a very lucky mother to have children and a husband who understand how hard today felt, the first ever Mother’s Day without Freddie. I had one present early, on Thursday. Today I was woken with cards and breakfast and tea this morning which was beautifully perfect. Josie made me a really wonderful card, the […]
Friday Blog Hop – Happy
These days, when I look in my girls eyes, I can see many things. I can see that they’ve been sad, terribly, terribly sad and that it will be with them forever. But I also see girls who know how to be happy; every day I see them take a deep breath, shake themselves and […]
4 good things
1. This morning my guest post on Tots100 appeared – thanks for that opportunity Sally 🙂 Never done a guest post before, enjoyed it. 2. Fran and Amelie did their music festival. Amelie got commended and Fran a merit. Fran played really well (they both did) so was a bit sad not to do better. […]
Things that don't make sense
How can it be that a birth that left me in this kind of a mess resulted in a healthy child and a birth as simple, easy and beautiful as Freddie’s resulted in a child who died but who left me with no lasting rage, anger or mental damage. How am I supposed to make […]
Being a better mummy
Now that, I hate saying this but I’m having to try and make it true, the worst of the raw grieving is beginning to pass, I’m trying to keep my promise to Freddie that I would be a better mummy to the girls in remembrance of him. I love them so much and losing a […]
On being six and grief struck
I want to talk about Josie. I want to write so much about her but the things that I have to say make me want to weep and stick in my throat and tie my fingers. She’s six now. Last week, on Bonfire Night, we had presents and a party with a couple of local […]
Assorted crafting.
Last weeks cloaks didn’t really have masses of time for me teaching dress making, seamstress-ing or costume design but Maddy did get a crash course in pinning, which will no doubt stand her in good stead at some point. There was a very small amount of fun with this (if I’m honest not terribly good) […]
