These days, when I look in my girls eyes, I can see many things. I can see that they’ve been sad, terribly, terribly sad and that it will be with them forever.
But I also see girls who know how to be happy; every day I see them take a deep breath, shake themselves and choose to be happy, choose to live, choose to do the things their brother never will. I see them make me a cup of tea, or give each other a hug. I see them do kind things for each other, make time for one another, value each other and forgive each other.
I see them be thoughtful, all the time and be mindful of how fortunate they are to have health and enough wealth and the use of their eyes and legs and voices and minds.
It makes me happy.
This week, this glorious week of wonderful Spring weather, we’ve spent mostly in the garden together, playing, gardening, making rabbit runs, cuddling rabbits, doing handstands and admiring the flowers that were planted to remember Freddie.
They might be there for the saddest reason in the world, but they make me happy.
It makes me happy to know that I’ve learned how to live this year, in small and frightening steps. It makes me happy to see that my girls already know that.
They know how to be happy.