We grew something. We even ate it. Not only that; I cooked it. I’ve had a really rotten day; full of empty grief and loss and lack of hope. I’ve sat on my bed and not cried, cuddled Freddie’s blanket and not been able to find comfort, read a novel about infertility and child loss, […]
Ever on and on.
The last few weeks have been building up to the three older girls having some time away from home; an opportunity arose for Fran and Amelie to attend a gym camp at a gymnastics centre some way from us, known to us slightly through a friend and a competition that Fran has done. We offered […]
And the beat goes on
Last week I worked quite a bit; I do love having the ability to share a job with your nearest and dearest – and we do it very well now. It was hard at first and we had a lot of corners to knock from each other because we work so very differently but lately […]
The flip side
I’ve been umming and aahing about something to wear that would remind me of Freddie; eventually I’d like a name necklace but I’m not ready for the questions yet. The other day I saw this beautiful bead; an oak tree with a sapling on the back. It just felt perfect – so I treated myself. […]
That was the week that was
There has been a noticeable absence of girl news this week – this being entirely due to there being a notable lack of girl. In order for me to have a little head space, but also do some heavy work on our websites and for the girls to have some fun but also a little […]
Feelings not Reasons
This morning someone posted a longish paragraph about how to help someone experiencing grief. It was interesting, I read it carefully and wondered a lot how it related to me in the situation I find myself. I found it particularly interesting because I’ve had a week off from the girls this week and been at […]
Caught in a Landslide
Dear Freddie, Today you should be four months old. I’m managing not to count the weeks, I’m managing not to think so much now about the things you should be doing. For me you are frozen in time now, that little boy of 0 to 11 days old. A little boy who I only really […]
Going round in circles isn't always bad.
After the success of the Kandinsky Monday, it was probably inevitable that more would follow. The girls have been fairly actively arty all week, which suits me just fine. I can hardly believe it, but in some senses we are (as a family) heading in to the run of ‘the run up to Christmas’ soon […]
Target Achieved
We’ve made it to £1000 on our JustGiving page in memory of Freddie. That was my first target. Thank you to everyone, friend, family, reader and customer who has contributed to this and also to the suppliers who donated items to go direct to the hospital, a batch of which went off this week and […]
Music, movement & painting in circles
Zoe and i commenced “the plan” today, working our way around Fran, Skye and Amelie going to a workshop with Tim Noble at their dance school. While they were out, we got the others working with a fairly intensive day looking at the art of Kandinsky with the help of a rather fab book from […]
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