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You are here: Home / Archives for losing a baby

Here we are.

March 25, 2012 by

I thought today that it is now nearly 2 years since Freddie was born and lived and died and in a week or so, creeping up, will come his birthday. I don’t know how we got here. I don’t know how we made it. I’ve had 2 babies in 2 years and it took forever […]

Filed Under: Benedict, Freddie, Grief Tagged With: joy after grief, losing a baby, loss of child, new baby after neonatal death, remembering Freddie, subsequent baby

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables

October 15, 2011 by

There can be few images of loss in literature more potent than that of the empty stool shown to Scrooge in the Cratchit house after Tiny Tim has died. There are few images more powerful in a film than that of Dumbo’s mother as she is torn from her child and left without him. It’s […]

Filed Under: Freddie, Grief, Thinking, Uncategorized Tagged With: baby loss, baby loss memorial day, child loss, infant loss awareness day, international infant loss awareness day, losing a baby, miscarriage

Tommy's 5 Point Pregnancy Plan – Make a difference.

September 20, 2011 by

I have walked out of a maternity unit leaving my dead newborn son behind me. I have driven home, unaware that I left the building in my pyjamas and walked across the car park in socks and stared blankly at the car in front for a 20 minute journey home; that car had a ‘baby […]

Filed Under: Charity, Freddie, Grief, Pregnancy After Loss Tagged With: BBC Radio Cambridgeshire, Bounty UK, exercise in pregnancy, health advice for pregnancy, healthy pregnancy, losing a baby, managing stress in pregnancy, neonatal loss, nutrition in pregnancy, stillbirth risks, tips for healthy pregnancy, Tommy's 5 Point Pregnancy Plan, Tommy's baby, weight management in pregnancy

To remind myself some other day.

May 5, 2011 by

I wrote this as a comment on Glow, that amazing wonderful place that has held me together over the last year. I’m copying it here to remind myself, on the days when the empty and dark feelings have me by the throat and won’t let go and when it seems that life, any amount of […]

Filed Under: Being a Parent, Freddie Tagged With: bereavement, grief, life after a child has died, losing a baby, loss of a baby, neonatal death

This thing called…

April 18, 2011 by

When someone dies, people tell you a lot about the stages of grief. I believe there are 4; it says something, though I’m not sure what, that I can only ever remember 3 of them at a time. Right now though, I know exactly which one I’m fighting with: anger. I’m angry and I’m frightened […]

Filed Under: Freddie, Trying to Conceive Tagged With: clomid, conceiving after loss, conception after age 35, fertility treatment for secondary infertility, getting pregnant after losing a baby, grief, infant loss, infant loss grief, losing a baby, neonatal loss, older mothers, secondary infertility, trying to conceive

The Gallery: Tomorrow

April 13, 2011 by

Yesterday, a year ago, I was watching and photographing Freddie. I had no idea it was his last day alive. Today, a year ago, I had just watched him die. Now, it is more than a year since I was pregnant or had a baby to care for and love. Tomorrow, I need to get […]

Filed Under: Family Life, Freddie, Photos Tagged With: daffodils, losing a baby, neonatal death, now yesterday, photos, the gallery, today, tomorrow

One week until 11 days until 2 weeks until forever.

March 27, 2011 by

I’ve tried not to be maudlin this March. I thought it would be so awful and it hasn’t been but suddenly it has hit me that in 6 days I should be celebrating a birthday. In 6 days I can’t say “I was pregnant this time last year. This week is it. This week is […]

Filed Under: Birth, Freddie Tagged With: baby loss, bereavement, grief, infant death, losing a baby, neonatal death

Reluctantly Spring

March 7, 2011 by

Hey, little boy. I see you.

Filed Under: Freddie, Photos Tagged With: anniversaries of infant loss, infant loss, losing a baby, nearly a year since our baby died

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Archives 2003-2015

Recent Posts

  • After The End.
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About Baby Freddie

  • Baby Freddie
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  • 23 April 2010
  • A Life More Ordinary
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  • Other Stuff

Recent Posts

  • The End.
  • “The last thing I want to do is document it all.”
  • Big Changes.
  • A Toy or Two to Tempt me to Blog.
  • 11 days. 
  • Not 6. 
  • Buying for Dad: Perfect presents for all ages
  • Memories of Paris from my teens – and my teen.
  • A mother’s day.
  • Easy Tips & Tricks To Introduce Your Children To Gardening

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