So far the weather has always been kind to us in Freddie’s birthday. It feels like a blessing, of sorts, though I know it can’t be really. We’ve always been able to have an outside sort of day. This year was a happy day, in the circumstances. I find it increasingly strange that it can […]
Oh, lovely girl.
Oh… Peaches. You were off my radar when you were a wild child. I didn’t know that bit of you. But recently, after your spirited defence of attachment parenting, I found you on IG. We exchanged a word or two. I smiled at your pictures, of the love and fierce joy that shined out of […]
Four.
I resent this. I resent that it is four years since Freddie’s birth and that we have survived. I resent that I’m worth more, more meaningful, less stupid, because of him. Because of his death. I resent that we have learned to make the best of it. I resent that instead of cake and candles […]
Soothing Stitches: Another crochet hat with a Hungry Caterpillar theme.
This book has been Bene’s favourite since the earliest of times. In fact, it has probably been all their favourite book at some point; I imagine that is why after 45 years, The Very Hungry Caterpillar is still going strong. I imagine that is why “pop!” and “caterpillar” and “sun” and “be-uuuutiful butterfly!” have been […]
Again
The 30th March, so Timehop reminded me today, was Freddie’s due date. Tomorrow is the day when I thought he was coming and curled up in bed. Perhaps I should have walked about, maybe he’d have made it then. The 1st April we sat at the table and played with Hama Beads. And then came […]
I'm glad I spent it with you.
Today was a ‘motherhood’ day. Ups and downs. Growling as I stomped around the house looking for a very lost kindle which eventually turned out to be hidden (in a very toddler manner) behind the radiator that is behind the sofa, growling more as I encountered the bedrooms of my daughters. That’s life. Mess, missing […]
Lax Toddler Parenting #10: Speech Apathy
This is how I like my children… In the garden, being noisy, having fun, not connected to app or screen or anything much. It seems a pretty perfect way to be. Bene, like his biggest sister was, is in his element when he’s being physically boisterous. He’s all about body at the moment, has been […]
Daffodils for Freddie – a craft linky for a 4th birthday that isn't.
Dear all, Lot of people have said they’ll join in and make daffodils with me ready for Freddie’s birthday on 2nd April; as I feared, ours are already out and will be gone before it comes. Over the last 4 years the sight of Spring emerging at a time which is so inherently sad has […]
Every baby should survive their #firstday
On that first day, there was one who pulled the red emergency cord but she is not the one I remember. I remember the midwife who supported me through a short, healing, beautiful labour. She made me focus on what I had to do as the room erupted in chaos around us. She kept my […]
The Daffodil Boy.
The heads of the daffodils in the garden are already turning yellow; they’ll bloom in a matter of weeks, they’ll be over before March has ended. Daffodils are Freddie’s flower. I don’t want to do April without daffodils. Seeing them nodding and bobbing on the 2nd April is one of the things that keeps me […]
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