Wow, what a busy few days we’ve had. Ben has had his first night away from home, I’ve had my first day fending for myself in the real world with a baby (!), we’ve had baby jabs and gym competitions and goodness knows what. And we are still dealing with the hopeless reality of BT […]
It's Tricky
Two nights ago Ben had his first night in a crib, which as you can see from the rather pants picture that I faffed with in an effort to distract myself, is a close to the side of my bed as it can be. I’d say it is as close to my side of the […]
11 weeks old
So much has changed. Again 🙂 He smiles, cheekily and engagingly, he visits smiles on us when we please him. He waves his arms and is thrilled when they connect with things, kicks his legs to get rid of blankets. I swear he wees at us on purpose and is charmed by the cries of […]
Real blogging is hard to find.
Two years ago my head was bursting with thoughts and feelings and tears and fear and last year, worn out with another year of trying to conceive and grief and loneliness for a little boy who was never coming back, I just wanted to mark his moments and revel in having had him. We lit […]
Clearing out the stock room…
I’m in work this week, Ben tucked up on my front. And I’m clearing out the stock room. I’m going to be posting a series of pictures over on the Facebook page for PlayMerrilyToys. If you think you could give a (free) good home to a toy, then like the picture so I know what […]
Cousins
We are having a lovely few days. Comparing this year to last year is something I am trying hard not to do, because it seems unkind or disrespectful to be happy this year. But we are. Now is not the time to dwell or try to make sense of how unreal the last two years […]
Letter to Ben : 2 months old
Dear Ben, Now you are finally asleep, having kept me carefully away from all the things I should probably have tried to do this evening, I can write you your first letter. I will make sure you never know how much I relish you taking up all of my time. I will keep from you […]
Test post.
Move along. Nothing to see here. Well okay. Apart from a very cute baby being a flickr tester for me.
Think happy thoughts.
Very important to remember that even with very bad days indeed, things are still better than they were. No Freddie but Ben is much better than no Freddie and no Ben. ‘Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten. We’re broken, but still good.’ Oh, the wisdom of Disney 😉
Bubble
Today was hard. Really, really hard. The hardest day for such a long time. I suppose I did have bad days over Freddie while I was pregnant with Ben, but I don’t remember them as topping the immense and submersing anxiety I carried around while I was pregnant. I don’t really remember grieving while I […]
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