We took our grief to Audley End, a place I carried Freddie secretly one hot late summer day 2 1/2 years ago. Walked the same grass, trod the same paths. We are not the same 6 as then. We are not even 6. We are a family who count ourselves in measured phrases and appropriate […]
April Starts
This year we will live April. And love April. And remember Freddie, every breath of his last good moments and his coming and his being and his going. April is for remembering. April is for being family and saying his name and being glad we had him.
This new life.
Ben is one month old now and the enormous stress of the early days is lifting. The relief of the changes in him after he reached term was enormous. He’s still a very snoozy, and occasionally twitchy, baby but he’s awake gradually more and more and when he is, he’s alert and lovely. In the […]
Half term was mainly brought to us by….
PR parcels. 😆 oh, with added Hama, fimo and junk modelling, which means no great change here 🙂 I had every intention of a good half term as I really wanted to make the most of Fran being off school but I was probably being over optimistic in all sorts of ways. However, in the […]
How times change.
We are now into the 4th year since Max left being employed by someone other than us and the fifth year since he worked full time. I feel like, even without all the added complications of the tragedy that then befell us, I’m only really properly recovered from 5 years of trying to be a […]
Breastfeeding – 6 babies, six different experiences.
When I was pregnant this time, I said to someone in a fairly joking fashion that I had very few new experiences left; birth by a roadside, on my bathroom floor or by forceps being three of the only obstetric things left on my to (not) do list that I could think of. I also […]
Becoming normal
Yesterday wasn’t brilliantly normal, as I noticed with the unerring timing of it being just as a friend arrived, that Ben had a crop of mouth ulcers on his bottom lip. I’d never seen anything like it, panicked and had to take him in to the ward to be checked, as my brain cycled through […]
Baby Magic
If you found this as a home ed blog and are looking for posts on maths, you should probably move along for a few days. We are all loved up on babies and likely to be so for a while 😆 36 hours at home has done much to restore me. I feel like my […]
Meeting the family
We are loving getting to know this little boy. 6th time in and our eyes are opened all over again to what a miracle it is to see a baby breathe and be whole and live. I don’t think the full reality has sunk in yet for me, but it is beginning to. I’m just […]
Thank goodness for structure.
Well, if I’m strictly honest, thank goodness for structure AND Groovy Girls, since the younger two girls are spending a quantity of every day playing with them. Who would have thought that ‘groovy girl gym’ could be such an enduring game???? I’m not complaining though, they are so eager to get back to playing together […]
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