In no particular order other than for dramatic and needy, pimping effect. Adults don’t always get nits from their children. Sometimes they get them from somewhere else and that’s actually worse. I can’t tell you how much I hate not being able to roll my eyes and blame it on a small girl. If your […]
Right Where I Am: 2 years, 2 months.
When I joined in with this project last year, I was tottering on the brink of utter despair. I wrote my entry on the cusp month between the end of Freddie’s time and the beginning of Ben’s time. That single month that was left before I found out I was pregnant again. It was feeling […]
Yellow Bird; that mummy and baby thing. And home ed.
I’ve got a 4 month post coming because I think it is time to stop counting in weeks. But one last time. He’s 17 weeks and he is so big and so changed and so different and utterly adorable. In the rare moments when he does stop feeding, what he likes more than anything is […]
And then came the rainbows…
I remember writing a long time ago that I knew one day posts about Freddie on here would fade away. It was the early days then, right at the beginning – but I knew even then that the desperate pain and grief would not always be something I could find and write new feelings about… […]
Ben at 14 Weeks
He’s changed so much this week that a short post on his achievements seems just right. Over the last fortnight he learned that breast full time is better than anything else. He started by refusing formula, then moved on to refusing breast milk in a bottle. He’s back to fully breastfed now and we got […]
Are you calling me darling?
Dear Ben, Today you are 3 months old. Do you know that even now I find it hard to believe I am not typing “you should be 3 months old”? I still find it hard to believe our luck. I’m not sure that I ever was very good at trusting everything would generally work out […]
It's Tricky
Two nights ago Ben had his first night in a crib, which as you can see from the rather pants picture that I faffed with in an effort to distract myself, is a close to the side of my bed as it can be. I’d say it is as close to my side of the […]
11 weeks old
So much has changed. Again 🙂 He smiles, cheekily and engagingly, he visits smiles on us when we please him. He waves his arms and is thrilled when they connect with things, kicks his legs to get rid of blankets. I swear he wees at us on purpose and is charmed by the cries of […]
Real blogging is hard to find.
Two years ago my head was bursting with thoughts and feelings and tears and fear and last year, worn out with another year of trying to conceive and grief and loneliness for a little boy who was never coming back, I just wanted to mark his moments and revel in having had him. We lit […]
Cousins
We are having a lovely few days. Comparing this year to last year is something I am trying hard not to do, because it seems unkind or disrespectful to be happy this year. But we are. Now is not the time to dwell or try to make sense of how unreal the last two years […]
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