Max and I went to register Ben today, something that, for simplicity, has to be done in the next town. I wanted to do it here, in the one that the girls were registered at, as only Freddie was registered at the other one and i thought it would be very triggery but in the […]
Foggy headed mumma
Goodness this is hard work. I really wonder how on earth I managed when I had a newborn and 3 under 6 years old and. Business to run. I must have had a damn site more energy than I do now, anyway. Thankfully, with Max at home doing everything else, I can at least just […]
This new life.
Ben is one month old now and the enormous stress of the early days is lifting. The relief of the changes in him after he reached term was enormous. He’s still a very snoozy, and occasionally twitchy, baby but he’s awake gradually more and more and when he is, he’s alert and lovely. In the […]
Happy due date Benedict.
In another world, I would have hit today and been thinking ‘well, any time in the next fortnight’. Instead we have a three week old. Today we’ve had slightly better feeding, immediately after mummy had a total meltdown about all sorts of things which now seem entirely remote, and more awake time. He even fixated […]
These days
These are not easy days. I used up all my emotional energy getting to the end of being pregnant. In my head I foresaw two outcomes: scbu followed by death and healthy baby who came home and did well. It didn’t occur to me I might find myself coping with staring endlessly at a sleepy […]
Two weeks old & been to WedEd.
So Ben is two weeks old. It seems quite amazing that all that stress and worry turned into a baby and being at home and everything being really quite normal. I look, it is quite obvious, about ten years younger. I hadn’t realised quite what the time had done to me. I don’t know when […]
Older
Ben is 11 days old. He is older than his big brother. It just is not right for that to happen when he is just so small. He is so loved, so part of us and I cannot believe that 11 days after Freddie’s birth I was sat at home, with aching, empty arms and […]
Second
Second son. Second chance. Second family. We’ve been luckier than anyone has any right to be. Lucky is a strange word to apply to a family who lose a child. Watching Ben uncurl – unfurl – is like having the clouds stripped from the earth and seeing all the beauty and imperfections of the world […]
Finished it Friday: Ben's hats.
Last week I partook of Finished it Friday a couple of days early without knowing that by Friday my major project of the day would actually be a brand new baby, who arrived 3 weeks early. After finishing his Blanket, I made him a coming home hat, using a really easy baby hat pattern I […]
Becoming normal
Yesterday wasn’t brilliantly normal, as I noticed with the unerring timing of it being just as a friend arrived, that Ben had a crop of mouth ulcers on his bottom lip. I’d never seen anything like it, panicked and had to take him in to the ward to be checked, as my brain cycled through […]
