I’m not going to link, because it will just provoke something that I don’t want it to – and anyway, I agree with the sentiment of the original poster, just not really with what read as a slightly unforgiving commenter afterwards. Yet again, I’ve ended up really hurt and cross because of the “you need […]
Continuing on a theme…
We’ve possibly been having a mini-half term here – we’ll probably have one next week too, so perhaps we’re a private school 😉 Yesterday we had S and P here for the day; all the kids did some stuff round the table in the morning, some mathletics and mine did music and they played for […]
I just wanna be okay, be okay…
Actually, I hate that advert. Too many pregnant women and daddy’s nestling their babies. But I like the song. Yesterday there was a loud knock at the door, I answered and it was the lady collecting electoral roll data. Naturally this year i really haven’t got round to filling that out. (This is blatant hiding […]
Be happy at Burghley – mission not entirely impossible?
I’m supposed to be finding things every day that I’m happy or pleased about at the end of it. This isn’t easy, mainly because I don’t seem to have the energy to create much movement at all and partly because being happy, being pleased and living has a measure of guilt attached, which is hard […]
I've run out of words
There are so many I could say but really, what’s the point? I’ve never felt so helpless in all my life. There doesn’t seem to be a single place in any aspect of anything where I can force or provoke a change that would make any of it better. I can’t help my children to […]
International Baby Loss Day
Today is International Baby Loss Awareness Day At 7pm people around the world will light candles to remember babies lost in all circumstances, at any age, during pregnancy, birth or after. Jess has read a list of baby names aloud at AfterIris. I’m incredibly grateful for the special effort she made for Freddie when he […]
Oh, to wear my heart on my sleeve
Six months ago today, our little boy died. 11 days was not enough. Twice in the last few days, people have, meaning to be kind given me their condolences and said “sorry to mention it, you must not want to think about it.” But I do. I think of ‘it’, of him, all the time. […]
Yesterday at the library…
I was browsing about in the fiction section and randomly picked up a book by someone I’ve never read and read the back. “4 friends promise to always be there for each other while at college… 20 years later that promise is put to the test.” ‘Oh, oh, I thought, I see where that is […]
If there were a way to switch it off I would
Last night I dreamt about Freddie. We were a few months on and he was still in hospital and I was trying to split myself between him and the girls and working and everything else in my life and not doing a good job at all. And people kept asking me how he was doing […]
Still creating
I’ve knitted some more squares. I’ve made some things. I’ve modelled myself back from another brink, I think. Some days I don’t do much more than a squidge of Fimo or a few rows of knitting, but creating this is helping. I’m going to need more walls, if not more beds, soon though.
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