Now that, I hate saying this but I’m having to try and make it true, the worst of the raw grieving is beginning to pass, I’m trying to keep my promise to Freddie that I would be a better mummy to the girls in remembrance of him. I love them so much and losing a […]
Rabbit Hole
My friend Leslie pointed me to this trailer for a film. I think it is the most perfect representation of grief for a child that I have ever seen. This is exactly how I feel. This is exactly my life. The expression on her face when people talk of angels, the shot of her doing […]
Graduation
I graduated from counselling today. It was my last session, my final chance to talk about all those thoughts and feelings that surround Freddie, his fleeting life and the drift of flotsam that has been left in his wake. The last time I can ponder and talk and rage and cry to someone without wondering […]
Created a Hottie Cover
Thanks to the knitting, I think I really have done something creative every day since I pledged to do so. Even if it has just been a thoughtful blog post, or a few lines of knitting, or a novel (!) or a model, I’ve created a lot and it has helped. I’m really proud of […]
Holidays
As is customary in the Puddle household, last week we took ourselves off to Centerparcs. It’s always a good way for us to have a low maintenance wind down holiday after the busy Xmas period and one of those holidays which, being a large-ish family, has not too much effort attached. In fact, it’s easy, […]
9 months & 11 days
Fly high, little boy. Second to the right and straight on till morning. I miss you with every bone in my body, every glance of my eye, every thought that passes. Be somewhere beautiful and don’t look back.
Money can't buy you love
I know they say that – and it’s true – but nothing beats a birthday where the people who love you go out of their way (and some way out of their pocket) to give you gifts that will bring masses of joy and pleasure. Look at that; 1000’s of hours of reading, knitting, lovely […]
Separate
Dear Freddie, Today you should be nine months old. Today marks the day when you should have been a person in your own right for as long as you were part of me. Today you have been out for as long as you were in. Today is the day when, some say, pregnancy for a […]
The words won't come
I look back at what i wrote this time a year ago and it seems like a macabre joke. “And as for me and Max; Max says he has no regrets about leaving work and enjoys our life and his new job. I enjoy not doing it 🙂 We’re happily married again and both looking […]
Two events I forgot to blog
I think. I should write bigger and better about both of these but today is not a day I’m finding easy, so I can’t be bothered. But they both relate to good home education moments, so for the record, here they are. The first was a trip to the Cambridge Botanical Gardens with a group. […]
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