I committed to a post a day through April and so here is the last of them. I can’t honestly do better than a song, one I love and which makes me cry but which also makes me smile wistfully.
I am sad tonight. Freddie, I miss you so much. I wanted to watch you grow, play rugby, adore your sisters, fight people, horrify your daddy by doing ballet, need short hair cuts, go out drinking, have girlfriends, fall in love, watch the football with your dad. I wanted to carry you out of the hospital and bring you home and be everything in the world to you.
And none of it happened.
We all lost so much and so did you. You will never know all the love we had ready for you and you will never have the fun of growing up, making mistakes, being told off and having it all cuddled better.