There are so many I could say but really, what’s the point? I’ve never felt so helpless in all my life. There doesn’t seem to be a single place in any aspect of anything where I can force or provoke a change that would make any of it better. I can’t help my children to […]
Archives for 2010
International Baby Loss Day
Today is International Baby Loss Awareness Day At 7pm people around the world will light candles to remember babies lost in all circumstances, at any age, during pregnancy, birth or after. Jess has read a list of baby names aloud at AfterIris. I’m incredibly grateful for the special effort she made for Freddie when he […]
Too many too many.
I’ve shared my online life with people for a long time – some are now as close as family to me and some I never imagined I’d have more in common with than a homebirth wish or a vbac wish. Three times now, people who hovered around the edges of those past lives have ended […]
Oh, to wear my heart on my sleeve
Six months ago today, our little boy died. 11 days was not enough. Twice in the last few days, people have, meaning to be kind given me their condolences and said “sorry to mention it, you must not want to think about it.” But I do. I think of ‘it’, of him, all the time. […]
Yesterday at the library…
I was browsing about in the fiction section and randomly picked up a book by someone I’ve never read and read the back. “4 friends promise to always be there for each other while at college… 20 years later that promise is put to the test.” ‘Oh, oh, I thought, I see where that is […]
If there were a way to switch it off I would
Last night I dreamt about Freddie. We were a few months on and he was still in hospital and I was trying to split myself between him and the girls and working and everything else in my life and not doing a good job at all. And people kept asking me how he was doing […]
Art.etc with added Beans.
Today’s art session was a theme, rather than an artist. We borrowed heavily from the wonderful Art Projects for Kids website, which is an amazing resource and they all had a lovely time. There was even some playing time and some grown up time too. The they all had a go at the tree I […]
Still creating
I’ve knitted some more squares. I’ve made some things. I’ve modelled myself back from another brink, I think. Some days I don’t do much more than a squidge of Fimo or a few rows of knitting, but creating this is helping. I’m going to need more walls, if not more beds, soon though.
Books and Doctors and Dentists, Oh My!!!
Last week. Hmmmm. Amelie has been doing symmetry in her book as well as in Mathletics. Actually so has Maddy, along with 2D and 2D shapes and today, that annoying equation which has something to do with a triangle and a hippopotamus. And we’d have got there too, had I not failed to add up […]
Too long since you left me
Dear Freddie, Today you should be six months old. I’ve been dreading this one but it hasn’t been as bad as it could have been. Maddy and I went shopping and yes, the place was full of little boy outfits and little boys and yes, I did look at an outfit for a six month […]
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