Last Friday we went off to Wicksteed Park for the day. Not been for ages and the girls all really enjoyed themselves, mingling with friends and going on rides with them and with Daddy. I was happy just to mooch and watch them enjoy their half price wristbands; I’m not a fan of rides and I’m still in a slightly odd place about being out with all of us together. I get an odd sensation of feeling I should be carrying a baby on my front and I can’t let myself go yet to do things I wouldn’t be able to do if I had him there. I can’t explain it well; it isn’t a conscious feeling but i think it is slightly like the “Turn Left” bug on Donna’s back in Doctor Who – I can’t see him but I can feel him and he colours my movements at times, mostly at unfamiliar times. It is one of the things that makes out-of-the-ordinary difficult; I’ve got used to not having him at home, in the place where he actually was and should be, but I get some sort of odd ghosting effect when I’m out. It takes some effort to overcome it.
Still, the girls had fun and Max had fun and I had time to chat with friends. I’ve never been good at trivial chit-chat and I’m woefully inadequate at it now, but it as nice to be around people. We pitched our tent in the nick of time and weathered some extreme wind and rain – the wind finished for the day one it was up!! Max and I, having decided camping without cooking implements was perfectly okay, took the girls out for dinner and got home in time for them to play with friends for a good while.
In any old life, you get tragedy, funny stories and happy endings and the next few turned into a mixture of all of them, the only tragedy thankfully being our own already happened one, mixed with happy events that managed to turn into a funny story. (And I’ll preface this by saying all texts and news were welcome and delightful 🙂 ) I got a text, from an unknown number, announcing the arrival of a little boy. Knowing I didn’t have my BIL’s number in my phone, I assumed it to be the arrival of a nephew and although I had hoped to do better, I lost it rather 🙁 My lovely friends gathered around me and kept me company through my tears. I think I’m one of a select number of people who have managed to make Nic cry 😆 It was a tough night though, I was so sad and lonely for my boy and I suppose kind of fearful for the future.
Sometime in the night I texted my sister a congratulations and brightkited that I had a nephew.
My still very pregnant sister was quite surprised by this the next day 😆
I had forgotten I had given my number to another expectant mum and in a bit of a state, hadn’t really put two and two together despite seeing my sister having posted something somewhere and despite it really being a smaller baby than my overdue sister was likely to have!
Once I (and she!) got over the shock and she’d prodded her tummy and clung on to real things to check she was still alive, it all became extremely funny. Possibly hysterically. My friends rolled their eyes lots and patted me 😆 And it did make the actual arrival of said nephew a few days later a good bit easier than it might have been 🙂
Anyway, we spent most of the next two days at the Festival of History which was good, though I didn’t get as much from it as I had done before. But we saw some interesting displays and talked to some nice people, bought a Tollen Wheel and some nice wool and socialised. We went back on Sunday to watch the Romans – Max says I’m obsessed with them since reading the Boudica books but although it fascinates me, I mostly get cross – invading, barbarous scum! I’d post pics but my camera flex has gone.
We got back in time for Amelie to do her Grade 1 Ballet exam. Phew. Everything done.
Monday was art day at Zoe’s – already blogged.
Tuesday I hid at work and Max did various things with the girls; it’s been a while since we did formal maths type stuff and he worked through some stuff with them. I’d prefer that to be only me but as they’d not been quick enough at multiplying for his liking, I can’t really complain. Bizarrely he set them exams in exam conditions which they thought completely wonderful and did rather well at. So I felt less bad after that.
Wednesday I can’t really remember. We did some art and some writing and a gym lesson which they all joined in at and did well at. I think maybe i worked again in the afternoon and Max did something with them.
Thursday I was definitely at work – I think – but that might leave me a day short, hmmm… – , enjoying twiddling around the edges of my now nice and tidy hama beads section and preparing for new entries on the BeadMerrily Hama Patterns blog. It is such an effort of will to start that again. I made it all ready a couple of nights before Freddie was born, dared to put “nearly here” quotes on the front page while worrying I shouldn’t tempt fate. Took them down straight after. Gods, I miss him. I miss the promise of him.
Max and the girls did more maths and something else I have utterly forgotten. He’s doing a great job of keeping them busy. And somewhere mulched into Thursday and Friday, when I was definitely at home is the following:-
Signing everyone up to Mathletics with their rather wonderful home educators deal. This has been a pretty big hit with all of them and I’m relieved they appear to all be able to do the maths for the year they should have just completed at school, except Amelie who is clearly far more clever at maths than a self respecting 8 year old should be! 😉
Mathletics couldn’t beat a times table workbook for Josie though – she has worked tirelessly at that this week and can work out her tables up to her 4’s and switched from 2x to 3x all on her own. I was very impressed.
Some time last week Fran wrote this, a round up of how she has researched her ballet project.
Maddy graded at TKD and got her Green Tag belt. I think after she has done green, quite soon, she graded at an odd time due to all our stuff, she can move up to the Intermediate group. She’s certainly loved her sparring class and working at it all a bit more studiously.
And that’s it – not so busy but not empty, not so together this week but not as falling apart as it could be I guess. The girls have had big ups and downs this week, Fran most of all but we’re getting there. I say that, I have no idea where we’re trying to get to. I wonder if there ever comes a point where we can all say “aww… remember Freddie?”
I suspect not.