So – thursday mainly consisted of tidiying up in the morning, sining tunes from the Muppets Treasure Island and some basic normals from everyone. Maddy read me half of P&J 3b, making it clear even to her that she can in fact read 🙂 Everyone was reasonably happily occupied and that left me time to have an irate call with a supply company and their rep.
At the toyfair i agreed to buy in their crafting package, plus a few extras – and pay up front the £200 or so that it required. The agreement was it would arrive as soon as i got back from Melrose along with the cd of images. i got back, the packages arrived but no cd. Rang once and was told no problem; rang again and was told no problem – rang a third time and was told… wait for it….
“I’m sorry but because you aren’t an account customer but a cash customer, we aren’t going to supply you with images. I would have let you know but i’m afraid i was busy packing boxes for one of our MAJOR clients yesterday. if you want images, you’ll have to set up an account and buy another £300 worth of stock.. and i realise for a little business, that is quite a big deal *patronise patronise*”
Me : “Right, let me get this straight… i’ve paid up front, rather than in 6 weeks time as i would if i was an account customer, i’ve bought 30 separate lines, i’ve had a specific agreement with your rep about images but you aren’t going to honour that because in your opinion i’m not likely to come back because £300 will be too much for me to ever spend again.”
Astonishingly, she held her ground. At which point, i pointed out that i have a monthly credit limit of £8k with my main supplier, don’t even take a deep breath about a stock bill of £2k, am registered for VAT, have a turnover that has grown with one supplier by 194% in the last year and am not impressed by her manner. And could i speak to her boss please.
The boss ensured that a cd arrived less than 24 hours later 😆
The afternoon my dad came over; sparkly blue geomags for Maddy’s birthday went down very well, they all played Bomberman and Stick Cricket, i went for a cycle and then my dad and i had a *cough* business meeting about a project we’ve got in mind. Quite difficult with 4 children around, but we did it in the end 😆
After he’d gone, gloom just kind of settled over me and i haven’t been able to shake it; i had plans for friday to go well and be full of stuff, but the kids were hugely into a rehearsal for a play they eventually put on for us and didn’t want me. Added to the (predicted) instant retail death, it all felt a bit glum, to say the least. Amelie and i did some writing together, they all played with some flashcards and made sentences together, Maddy and Fran did their normals, but then i just couldn’t persuade them to join me in anything. Ended up playing with Josie a bit and then sulking generally.
So i ended up the day back at the doctors to talk about my inability to live life on an even keel. And to talk about my bra size; surprisingly, he didn’t think there would be a problem having my apendages reduced on the nhs, as my notes have a 12 year history of backpain and i’m certainly a shorty for a 38DD. He was great about it – i’ve to go back in a month to be weighed and measured (and hopefully found wanting!) but although he’ll refer me, they won’t do anything while i’m on medication. And when i stop staring at the unopened packet on the kitchen worktop, that’s right back where i am going to be 🙁
I’m a bit shocked about how you were treated by the new supplier. Glad that its sorted though.
((hugs)) You will won’t need a.d’s forever, you wil get there.
Well done at getting the CD in the end! Although as it’s in their interest to help you so they sell more product through your company they obviously don’t want to sell product if they don’t help their customers to do so.
Hope you have a better weekend and we’ll try and catch up soon – hoping you’re going to make Monday as I think it’ll be a few weeks otherwise.
You seem to hit lows on a Friday – Just a suggestion, why don’t you try and arrange trips out for Friday mornings (you had mentioned about trying the eo group?).
KWYM about a flat day when your child(ren) is happily occupying herself and you are at an unplanned loose end! I’ve had days like that and I find myself feeling bizarely rejected and just don’t know what to do with myself!
With much love from someone who has learnt that life for her is always going to be on an uneven keel . . . hormones and lifes ups and downs for me mean that a constant even keel is never something I’m going to attain.
Be kind to yourself when you’re on the downward bit.
hugs and more hugs about AD’s. you’re not failing there, but were just prematurely hopeful – much better a thing to see yourself as.
where you live a different PCT to me, so maybe I should move – LOL!
more and more hugs.
I think you should give the ADs a longer shot Merry. I started mine in January last (2006) year for Post natal depression – one symptom of which was 24 hour vertigo/labrythinitis and it took me til about Decemeber 2006 for all signs up dizziness to clear, and even so I still get ‘attacks’ of it.
I think you have to see this as a long term thing for perhaps a year. See it is a favour to yourself to get well and decide to put up with medication for at least that long. Giving ADs up in winter wasn’t really the best idea your GP had anyway. You can’t undo chemistry, Merry.
((hugs)Merry. My G.P won’t even give me anti D’s. I just can’t articulate to him how bad I feel:( I go in and go dumb.
(((Merry)))
Definitely something in the water!
No one can know whats best but usually ad’s take a year plus to really work and honestly then they rarely work without efficient counselling. Equally if you choose not to go on them again then part of that needs to be the acceptance that life isnt going to be even kilter for you and finding ways to go with it.
As far as ad’s v breast reduction…..ooooh I need the reduction in my case ;o)
Be kind to yourself.
carol
x
Hello again – unveiled lurker yesterday and another comment today – I feel almost a regular. Just wanted to add, I’ve had a reduction – I was a 34H (yep, H!!) – it was a while back (about 9 years now), but I can say it made me feel so better about myself. If you want any info I’ll happily oblidge.
Gill,
I sat in the carpark of Sainsburys yesterday, cried my eyes out and counted off all the things that are illustrations of my failures; my business isn’t as good as it could be, my children aren’t educated as i’d like them, my figure is awful, my house is a mess.
The worst thing about is that *I* can hear the voice that says “you are being ridiculous, these are successes, not failures” but even though actually i know that is the truth, most of the time i just can’t let myself believe it.
Julie – i will definitely come asking – thank you 😉
Debbie, he didn’t tell me to, i just stopped 😳
Michelle, really? Does this mean i have DAD (Day Affected Disorder) – i wonder if i could turn it into MUM (Merry Utterly Mental)
Ruth and Carol (((hugs)))
Everyone – thanks 🙂
What amazes me is you feel so bad and yet you still manage to get what you need out of an incompetent company AND have a business meeting AND take time out to give me helpful and constructive advice about my stuff. Come on Merry, own up, how much do you get done when you’re feeling happy? 😉 Watch out Bill Gates, et al 😉
Gill, dead impressed & confident you’ll get *there*, wherever it is. xx
Hmm.. yup, I’d see them as definite successes. Have you tried spoken affirmations, or does it go too deep to be fixed so easily?
I was just explaining to a visitor here earlier that I do consciously work on being happy in that way – it’s NLP isn’t it? Creating positive pathways etc.
In practical terms that means noticing every positive thought, smiling at mirrors, regularly saying how happy I am etc. Sounds dotty but works for me.
Sorry if it’s too trite though: I guess the above wouldn’t be much use for a major chemical inbalance of the kind you’d probably have for them to put you on ADs (?) Dunno really, just hope you feel ok soon, whatever it takes xx
Gill, no offence but I used to give advice like to people until I experienced depression myself. There is a difference between cognitive depression and clinical depression, and no matter what you tell yourself when you have clinical depression the fact remains is that you inner resources just arent there and you spend an aweful lot of mental energy just keeping upright on an even keel – joy just isnt in one’s life. Things are done for duty and out of necessity and however much you want to be happy and know all the reasons to smile it just doesnt come. It isnt there. The rational reasons are those that keep you upright, but the zest has evaporated.
Merry: business failure – want me to take it off your hands 😉 wish mine would fail like yours 😐
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2006/02/the_spoon_theory.php#more
This is about long term illnes, Lupus i think, but it got posted on a place i frequent by someone who thought it illustrated depression quite well too. I agree, i think it is often just exactly how it feels.
Ah, fair enough. Thought that might be the case 🙁
And sometimes you think you’ve got spoons but you look down and realise you’re holding a handful of forks. xx
That’s an excellent piece – explains a lot IMO.
And forks might just get you through if it’s a roast dinner day, but if it’s a soup day, you’re buggered 🙂
Patronising suppliers really annoy me. As a small business, why should I be worth less? I always pay in advance – I don’t want an account, I want to work in credit, but I have met with a couple of unpleasant and difficult suppliers 🙁 Atleast you had the clout behind you to get what you want 🙂
Not much to say on the subject of depression because it’s so very personal to the person experiencing it (IYKWIM).
Desperately don’t want to say anything wrong … but am surprised by your gloom since I always come away from your site buoyed up.
Must take assertiveness lessons from you since I’m not so good at asking, “Could I please speak to your boss?”