Glancing through that Birth Trauma site last night was a bit of a revelation. After Fran, i knew i was in a bad way, but i had very little access to information and very unsupportive health professionals. I knew i was in trouble but i didn’t know where to start. By this stage, i had a second pregnancy to concentrate on and a VBAC to plan and that helped a lot. This time i just don’t have that and i maybe never will. So i looked through that list, realised i’m struggling with every one of its symptoms and decided that what i need to do is sort out some of the symptoms. I’m not depressed so i don’t want to get Prozac, besides, i’m still feeding Josie. But i probably can start to deal with some of the stuff, like the fact that i can’t be a car passenger anymore without freaking out constantly about whether a car is going to randomly hit us.
I seem to be back to trying to find some relaxation techniques. Anyone got any recommendations? Maybe if i start getting myself a bit healthier mentally, it’ll be easier to approach the actual issue eventually. 😯 It’s amazing how much i don’t see this coming every time, you’d think i’d know myself by now.
Anyway. Today’s maths was remarkably empowering (no sniggering at the back.) Maths has been such a constant fear to me, all my life and to find myself able to spot and reject nonsense and go and find something cleverer has made me feel quite good about myself. So has the fact that i’ve obviously taught Fran in a way that makes her expect maths to make sense, because as soon as i started spouting rubbish at her, she wasn’t buying it. I could tell from her face that “well, it just works so it’s how we do it” wasn’t going to wash 🙂 So big up to the both of us really. Let’s hope i have some blinding flash of revelation when we get to simultaneous equations too 😆
Amelie and i sat for ages with a 5-6 maths workbook today which she just adored. We also did some pen work and letter practise and she typed her name a few times, then played on the computer. She was a much happier bunny. She didn’t want to go to nursery, so i think we’ll go in tomorrow and hand in her notice. I’m kind of disappointed for her, i’d like her to have liked it, sorry not to get the time for the big too, sorrier still i didn’t listen to her and my gut instinct. Oh well, you live and learn. 🙁
Maddy sailed through more maths, Fran wrote me a very creditable bit of stuff on “What i did for Halloween” and then we went to Activity World with K and Tammy. Nice conversation, pleasant company, entertaining manhunt for missing child at the end 😉
I’ve done more parcels tonight, Karen and Heather 😳 – they are finally in the post. Sorry 😐