It’s been a month. A month since I held our baby boy in my arms and watched him breathe slower and slower until he stopped. A month since I watched his little fingers turn the wrong colour, covered them with a blanket as if to stop him being cold and didn’t call for help. A […]
Boxes & Beginnings
Today has been a difficult day. Every day is difficult at the moment, mostly because of Freddie and then other stuff which is lying on top of that, or underneath, but which isn’t mine to blog about. I think it is fair to say that life feels a bit surreal at the moment. There is […]
Bitesize Education and Learning from Life
Sorry, this is supposed to be a blog about home educating; the politics and the tragedies seem to have gatecrashed 🙄 Mind you, i’d love to think that the politics could take a back seat now but i’m faintly worried we’re going to have to have a revolution first. I cannot believe that we’re in […]
Was and Is
When i first found out i was expecting Freddie, i had just begun a course of study that centred, somewhat unusually for me, on trees. I was enjoying it very much and feeling very at peace with a new way of thinking about the world and my place in it. Then i had some bleeding […]
Friends and Family
I’m struggling to remember the days properly. I seem to be regaining use of my faculties rather slowly, if i’m honest. When we came home from the hospital, i had literally lost the ability to control my body temperature, through shock or tiredness or 11 days in SCBU and shivered all night unless i was […]
Timeline of Freddie's Life
The below are my updates to friends through Freddie’s life, mostly just for my records really as it is all a blur and i need to get some memories back. Ill tidy it up at some point. Feel free to ignore. I’m not actually sure all the dates are right from the early part as […]
The End of April
This is something new: I don’t want April to end. For the first time in such a long, long time, April has something in it that i cannot bear to let go. April 2010. The month our son Freddie was born and lived and died. A son. A boy. A brother. I don’t have a […]
Other Stuff
Maddy playing rugby in an end of season tournament with lots of other local clubs. (Some serious dad involvement in the shouting from the sidelines!) Playing on bikes the day after Max and i came home from the hospital. Swan Pond – Maddy’s Hama Bead swan pond model from the night before Freddie was born. […]
Balancing it up.
Life goes on. Seems to be the only thing i can think of to say about it really. And it really does go on; other lives, other events and you quickly realise that you and yours are just a tiny part of a much bigger picture. Even in hospital with Freddie we watched a Brian […]
Freddie's Day
Today was Freddie’s funeral, the first part of it anyway, as we plan a memorial with friends and family later. We didn’t feel this part would be helpful for the girls to attend and felt if we were caring for them, it wouldn’t be helpful for us either so decided to have a private service. […]
