I had a lot of vague but relatively grand plans for Freddie’s 10th birthday. Somewhere in my head I decided, years ago now, that this would be the point where I would have reached a serene understanding and acceptance of my little baby boy dying without ever leaving a hospital. I thought this would be […]
Recent Ramblings
The End.
I’ve said it all before. I’ve tried to find the urge to blog again too, in various times and in various ways. But honestly? I don’t believe in it any more. I don’t feel safe doing it. The idea of writing something controversial and the meanness of what some people will do with that horrifies […]
“The last thing I want to do is document it all.”
I said this last week (to Who’s the Mummy, as it happens), to explain why I never blog any more. And, to be fair (to coin an overused phrase favourite of of of my teens, the run up to Xmas felt fairly miserable, for not even the right reason of our shops being nice and […]
My Crafting
Soothing Stitches: Crochet Mandala Happy.
I don’t seem to have completed nearly as many projects as I hoped to this year, not least because of time constraints that have sucked my crochet time away and left me grateful if I manage a single row or block in the tail end of an evening. It’s annoying, especially since it is robbing […]
Soothing Stitches: A Year of Yarning Frugally. #UseUpYarnYear
Like most avid knitters and crocheters, I have a yarn stash that would see us through WW3… if only it were edible. My King Sized bed is mainly propped up by boxes of yarn bought for projects that overran or overspilled or never got started or became a work in progress. There is a sizeable […]
Family Life
Not 6.
It really gets me every year that these were my last few happy minutes, minutes where really I’d never had anything to be utterly crushed by, ever again. It doesn’t really work like that of course. There are plenty of happy moments, not least because I learned to be grateful for Freddie in so many […]
Life after Child Loss
On Infant Loss and finding joy again.
Lying in bed listening to my littlest boy breathe, feeling his soft hand against my cheek and not being afraid the next song on the radio will tear my heart out, those are the things happiness is made of these days. And that happiness reminds me of just how brutally sad it is possible to […]
Home Improvements
A long awaited kitchen.
If you follow my Instagram feed, you might have seen that this summer we finally managed to upgrade our horrendous kitchen from hell into something a little more suited to the needs of a large family. Having tried unsuccessfully to win one, Max’s new job this summer meant that at long last, we could actually […]
