There was much (MUCH!) Geomag play. Am seriously considering stocking these now they’ve relaunched. Amelie made me a present after a rather lovely nature walk with Daddy. Fran and I had been down to Addenbrookes for the day, visiting an incarcerated friend family while we were there. Fran got signed off from one surgeon too, […]
Co-dependance Day
Today is mine and Max’s anniversary; we’ve been married 12 years. Twelve years ago today, about now, we were enjoying our reception, in the garden of my parents house, thinking wed done an okay job of what we hoped would be the biggest event of our life, the birth of our first child and seeing […]
All the other things we've been doing.
I’m so far behind on the day to day life around here that I don’t think I can remember. Maddy went on her PGL holiday and loved it. I wasn’t really worried about her going, though it didn’t feel very long after all our traumas. She was very pleased to be going and came home […]
The tiring and the downright bad.
The worst thing about this is how it turns you into a downright bitch. Oh, i know it. I don’t know if there is any way round the raging bitterness that leaks out into the most ordinary of moments. The happy moments. Unexpected announcements. Hate them. Photo contests. Hate them. Talking about how long it […]
Answers that make more questions
I’m not doing so well. I wish i was the kind of person who could switch off, accept things as they are, not question, not query, not wonder. I suppose i’ve headed on past shock and denial stages of grief (though shock seems particularly capable of re-emerging, i spent most of the last two days […]
The writing's on the wall (or window)
Maddy wrote this. I’m so proud 🙂 We had a lovely day at Zoe’s today. I took a variety of gel pens, some of which can be used on windows but all of which blend together. We got the kids to experiment for a while, drawing alongside them again to help encourage them. Then we […]
Sometimes you just know
I think most people thought our family was complete. I think we thought so too, despite having very different feelings about that. Thats another story. But with our youngest approaching 5 years old, we decided that perhaps we would, after all, have just one more baby. Sometimes knowing that we argued about that, about that […]
When you can't make it better
The only way round it is to try and do something good instead. We’re going to be making Hinchingbrooke SCBU the good cause that Merrily Toys & Crafts Ltd supports. First on our list of things to try is a virtual free gift in the checkout area. Choose that instead of a free gift on […]
This is how life is now
Wake up unusually cheerful. Very nearly bound out of bed without normal wallowing. Go to help Maddy with her laptop and CBBC has ICU style beeping in the background. Do my best but inevitably end up back in my bed crying. Beeping and anti-bacterial hand wash are, annoyingly, my two SCBU triggers. Make it through […]
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in.
A couple of days ago i read something that put, very succinctly, the confusion i had been feeling about where we are at the moment into words that i think might make sense to other people. Until i read it, i didn’t quite understand the sense in me that i was living a bit of […]
