I have been a very flawed parent over the years, busy, impatient, a little too wrapped in my own agenda, tired, easily annoyed. Three things have altered that until the current, not too bad model emerged; the endless companionship, support and influence of my husband Max, who is the calm ordered opposite of my flighty […]
The in a minute mummy
Dear Bene, You are nine months old. I'm so late with this post. Again. I fear this is the way it will go on now. To be honest though, little fella, I think I've been avoiding this one. I remember writing a post to your brother when he should have been nine months, it was […]
Normal service will resume…
Shortly. Possibly. Life has got rather complicated. Not only do we have children doing what is fast becoming an almost impossible combination of activities but business is heading into its busy time and 2 of our staff are moving. Gulp. Luckily we will manage, but the well oiled machine will be, erm, using different oil. […]
Legacies
I must admit, I thought it would stop. I thought a point would come where the anxiety would cease and the old person would take over again. The person I was who kissed better and brushed off sickness and hurts and assumed that they'd just be better next day. Two an a half years on, […]
Semantics. Conversation. Truths.
In the doctors the other day With Bene, not yet as poorly as he was today sat on the floor, an old lady asked me how many children I had. And I replied, as I always do “I have had six, he is number six”. Across the room another lady chipped in; “Six! How did […]
Tick tock, goes the clock.
Dear Bene, And now you are eight months. I was so buy last month that I didn't even write you a letter, though I did write about your first holiday. Sorry about that. You keep me pretty buy these days little man and everything else has needed attention too, the house, your sisters and life. […]
Make the best of it.
The girls were away this weekend. In the olden days, we relished a weekend off but these days we miss them when they aren't here. They're such good company. Plus of course, it meant Max and I were a two man tag team keeping the amazing non-napping boy occupied 🙂 We took him to visit […]
It's just what you do.
I happened upon a post on Glow that touched the nerve of how I felt this weekend. This bit in particular, written by Kate. “Christ, but some days I feel completely insane with the fucking rage. Then I go to sleep. Then I get up again, and shower, and scramble eggs, and try again. Because […]
In the end.
In the end, it all comes back to one simple thing. I was one person and then my world fell apart. I put it back together and it fell apart all over again when my son died. Putting it back together again, trying to pick up the reins of a life that ran away from […]
Bene had a holiday.
We finally got away for a holiday. We went back, again, to the farm we love so much, deep in the Dartmoor hills that have our heart. It is the most amazing place. You should go. Really. Just not all of you or we won’t be able to book our weeks 😉 When we went […]
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