I want to talk about Josie. I want to write so much about her but the things that I have to say make me want to weep and stick in my throat and tie my fingers. She’s six now. Last week, on Bonfire Night, we had presents and a party with a couple of local […]
Trying to finish off last weeks list.
I’m not going to make it entirely, as Fran has promised a guest blog for part of it, but she’s hugely caught up in both her NaNo and now some terribly complicated spreadsheet she is designing (for a 12 year old anyway) so that might take a while. It’s too long ago to blog Halloween […]
Sporting Catch Up.
I didn’t get round to blogging the last competition, partly from lack of time and partly because neither of them were very happy with how they did. Somehow it seems pointless t try and big up something that they don’t feel a sense of achievement about, even though they had nothing to worry about at […]
Assorted crafting.
Last weeks cloaks didn’t really have masses of time for me teaching dress making, seamstress-ing or costume design but Maddy did get a crash course in pinning, which will no doubt stand her in good stead at some point. There was a very small amount of fun with this (if I’m honest not terribly good) […]
Telepathy & Pixies
Dear Freddie, Seven months. More than half a year. Most of the time I was pregnant with you. Seven long and lonely months learning to live with the feeling of you not in my arms. I’ve spent so much of this month thinking of the link you and I shared and of all the times […]
The Day of the Dead
It seems amazing, incredible, prophetic and deeply ironic that last year, on this date, I added my little egg in a basket to my blog header and announced my pregnancy. It was just Halloween then, though I was reading some books that were showing me a way of thinking of this time of year as […]
Keeping Busy Craftily
A side effect of this week being busier was that I got less knitting done, but I’m pleased with what I’ve achieved through the week overall. I managed two squares last week but only one this week, the red, orange and yellow one. Annoyed by my failure with tension down the middle of it though. […]
Wishing for nothing
A few days I caught myself imagining being given £1million a month for life. I realised, with horror really, that it couldn’t make me happier than I am. This is not a bad thing, because aside from tragedy, I think I actually am happy. Roughly £2K a month might take the pressure off financially, but […]
Day of Reckoning
I sincerely hope, when the day comes when someone asks my daughters what they most remember about me, they will remember the mummy who made cloaks for them more than they remember the ‘in a minute’ mummy who was often working and often crying. So this was my creativity today; not only making two cloaks […]
Largely wordless
In common with many of those in my dead baby mama community, a community I value but so wish I were not part of, I find myself largely wordless this month. I wonder if October just does that; the cold, the sense of death, the bleakness. Any hope of life being sustained, of a miracle […]
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