Haulage on bent wings and an empty bank account.

A conversation this morning in our kitchen went something like this:-

Child Who Shall Remain Nameless: “So um… do you think the tooth fairy might visit soon? It’s just that, well, I’m quite short of cash this week….”

*blank face*

Me: “You lost a tooth? Again? Still?!?!?!”

CWSRN: *sighs audibly* “Yuhuh. You know, about 3 weeks ago. I’ve nearly caught up with *insert name of younger sibling* now. ANYWAY…. could you, ummm… let the magic down so that she can come in and leave me my money?”

***

‘Letting the magic down’ refers to the protective magic a mummy can cast around a house to ward off any malevolent beings that a small child happens to be afraid of a night. I have it cast at all times. Unfortunately it does also repel tooth fairies, which while inconvenient, occasionally explains why she forgets to come doesn’t arrive to leave cash.

Handy, huh?

Don’t be fooled; that’s a tooth fairy on the edge.

Our tooth fairy started off so perky way back in 2003 or so. Bright shiny wings, practically knocking on the door as Fran fell asleep, little note on cute thin strip of paper with diamond pointy ends. She’s a direct descendant of my own tooth fairy, which means she does much the same stuff. MY Tooth Fairy got lucky in that the 20p had just come out when I started losing teeth, so all she had to do was pop one of those in her satchel and buzz over.

I had a vivid mental image of the Patch of Puddles fairy this morning, now exhausted from a relentless 12 year run of delivering chunky £1 coins. I see her disheveled on the pavement edge, wings bent, grubbing in the gutter for enough coins to make up yet another £1 delivery. (20 teeth x5 is a LOT of money!) There is probably a bottle of wine involved: no doubt that is why she is so often late. It’s either that or living in a land full of castles made of discarded body parts is really starting to get to her.

How she must have cursed when Bene turned up. She’s got at least another 10 years service to do yet by which time I’m fairly convinced she will be not only a broke fairy but probably a sozzled one too.

That’s going to be my excuse for her not turning up anyway.

So how much does your tooth fairy pay? Are you on a par with your location? And (perhaps more importantly!), is she still all in one piece or becoming a bit of a slacker?

In association with Sun Life.