But it was good.

It was a lovely day, despite the tears and the grief. After all the snow and rain and grey, the sun came out. You might even have believed a little boy blue sent us the clear sky and the biting brilliance of a cold spring day.

Bene, wearing the shoes all his sisters have first worn, took his first steps outdoors. Once he got the hang of grass and slopes and shoes, he was unstoppable.

Cartwheel competitions down the slopes of Hunstanton seafront. 25 was the best count. We made a spectacle of ourselves.

Everyone wanted daddy to spin them and Bene joined in too. I didn't have a go 😉

We watched the sea. Bene liked that very much. I laughed at the irony of standing in front of posts that marked 5,6,7 with a line of gulls in front, sometimes 7, sometimes 8. Once someone told me to think of all the quirks of universal humour as messages from Freddie. I'm getting better at that. 5,6,7? Yes indeed. 7,8? Who knows?

Fran taught us gcse coastal geography. Then we looked at cliffs and remembered little girls on the blah here with uncle rich and wondered if he had told us the geology of the cliffs that day. We reckoned he would have had something interesting to say about them.

And on to the beach.

Where we learned about sand between your toes…

Wrote names…

Maddy made a beautiful sea collage.

On the we home we stopped to watch some lambs arrive. I couldn't have done that on that day 2 years ago. Bene was not sure about sheep. I was not sure about calves. We played on tractors.

And there we all were. Sometimes I think it is best we can rarely have a photo without one of us taking it. It means I don't have to pretend it has all of us in it. And that, mostly, is okay. I can live with that.