8 weeks old

The last two weeks have been little short of a feeding frenzy. Sometimes Ben has gone for 8 solid hour feeds, screaming the house down if I even go to the loo. We have gots bit more of a routine going, we’ve even had a day out and he and I are lucky that I can drop everything to indulge him when he wants o go for broke. He still sleeps okay, though less deeply than when he had an expressed milk bottle in the middle of the night. We’ve managed some days out, even two quite long drives. We are getting there. Since I talk the talk about being a supporter of both breast and bottle, I’m owning up here to the fact that a few time, 4 or 5 times, he’s had formula. Not to top up really, but mainly because trying to pump ahead of a voracious baby to keep life running was just stressing me out deeply. On our day out he had formula on the way home in the car. Yesterday he did have some when he had fed for hours, cried for hours, woken up every time he fell asleep feeding and just seemed miserable. To be honest, I was deeply relieved to see him sated and cheerful afterwards and it let me get myself back together and pump some for a late night bottle. We still seem to have to do that one or the jaundice returns really quickly. I’m not sure what it is that does that really, maybe he’s not that efficient a feeder. I don’t know.

Whatever. We seem to have found a system that works well enough and is keeping me smiling with minimum guilt, though to be honest I feel a bit dirty writing it. 🙄 even the girls look mildly shocked about it. When I took him to be weighed today though he had gained almost 2lbs in 13 days, so no wonder I have been feeling desiccated. I don’t think 20oz of formula will have made too much of a bearing on that, so I feel really proud of what we’ve achieved together, because it has been really quite a tough start. He’s now 9lbs 6, beginning to look robust and feeling stronger and safer. It’s such a relief. I so needed him to look strong enough to survive a knock back. He’s awake longer too, sometimes for up to 5 hours, though he makes up for it by sleeping a lot the next day. We’ve had glimmers of smiles but he’s quite demanding with less delight at the moment. He wants to be fed all the time and wails if anyone else holds him which is a bit frustrating for all the household adoring fans. I reckon in another 2 weeks that will change again though.

Oh how we all love him.