The Gallery: April

As things go, the Gallery provided too many opportunities for reflection this month. Too many I couldn’t walk past: they felt like a summons. But April hasn’t been a sad month, after all, it has been a happy month, one that has helped me see how lucky I am, even if it takes a certain amount of breathing to acknowledge that.

If it is true that these are places in my house that I wish didn’t need to exist, it is also true that April started with friends and gestures of love.

And it is true there have been tears but there has also been cuddles and family time and peace.

If it is true this blanket should now being pulled behind a little boy, then it is also true that the love and effort that went into making it was not wasted.

April was about the garden and the glorious sun that bathed it all month.

The flowers, every one of them given by friends in memory of Freddie, made it the place to be and gave us a love of our garden we have never had before.

It was a good month for meeting new friends and discovering again how much joy there is to be had in moving out of comfort zones.

And when my dad came over to visit, it was a good month for that sorely needed opportunity for rest and relaxation, time where the girls wanted the attention of someone else more than us. And when we had the opportunity to go out and enjoy being a couple again.

April, this year, was concluded with a wedding that reminded me of the utter and complete joy of having survived both disharmony and the toughest thing a couple can possibly go through and come out of it more in love than ever before.

April was the month where I discovered a bit more about photography, from the above mentioned friend and then blew it all because the Hipstamatic app on my phone is so much fun 😆

April was a month that brought an allotment and an opportunity to try to focus on cycles of growing and changing and beginnings that don’t begin and end with my womb and its inadequacies. It looks like being something the whole family enjoys.

April was the month where I started on Clomid and hoped for the best, while expecting nothing. We’ll see. I’m still expecting nothing but man, we’ve given it our best shot. Best you don’t get a photo image for that one 😉

And April was the month where I finally met my beautiful little nephew Kit. I didn’t take a photo, because I was a bit all over the place, but I did love him. And he, eventually will be one of the things that helps me remember my boy. And that will be good.

There are more entries at Sticky Fingers.