Wake up unusually cheerful. Very nearly bound out of bed without normal wallowing. Go to help Maddy with her laptop and CBBC has ICU style beeping in the background. Do my best but inevitably end up back in my bed crying. Beeping and anti-bacterial hand wash are, annoyingly, my two SCBU triggers. Make it through […]
Archives for 2010
Writing about it.
This is not a post about Freddie 😉 It’s a home ed post. Try to remain calm. It has probably not escaped the attention of anyone that i write about my feelings. I’m not a terribly coherent writer, nor do i think i paint pictures with my words all that well. I certainly don’t use […]
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in.
A couple of days ago i read something that put, very succinctly, the confusion i had been feeling about where we are at the moment into words that i think might make sense to other people. Until i read it, i didn’t quite understand the sense in me that i was living a bit of […]
'Seamingly' going okay…
It has been a LONG time since i have done dress making, a very long time. Funny how many things on patterns i imagine to be some form of inbuilt knowledge and only teaching Fran is reminding me i had to learn them. We aren’t doing too badly. This is for her Beatles outfit for […]
In the hands of a bitter, bitter moon.
Dear Freddie, You should be 2 months old today. I can’t remember what a 2 month old is like – i was very much looking forward to reminding myself with you, finding out all over again about having a baby in the house. In a perfect world, the one i have to remind myself we […]
Dartmoor Holiday
Last week the six of us took a week away in our absolute favourite place in the entire world – Dartmoor, the place where Max spent the early part of his childhood. We rented an absolutely gorgeous 2 bed cottage on a farm, with a lovely garden that the children tented in. Lower Hookner was […]
Frost and Earthquakes
7 weeks. Really? Only 7? I can hardly believe there was ever a part of our life that didn’t have Freddie as part of it. I was going to say in it, but that isn’t true. He’s not been in it for so much more time than he was. Already. That isn’t true either of […]
Words
Every picture tells a story? A picture paints a thousand words? Words don’t mean anything? The problem with reality, even in the finger tips of a five year old spelling out the names of her family members, is it doesn’t always equal actual fact. And which is fact, 6… or 7?
The sun always rises.
There is some form of normality around, although too much of it is over laid by things which just aren’t normal and right now, if i’m honest, don’t feel like they ever will be. Reading this post on glow this week pretty much summed it up. The ripples really are everywhere. (Breaks to watch Dr […]
Blue
It’s been a month. A month since I held our baby boy in my arms and watched him breathe slower and slower until he stopped. A month since I watched his little fingers turn the wrong colour, covered them with a blanket as if to stop him being cold and didn’t call for help. A […]
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 13
- 14
- 15
- 16
- 17
- …
- 19
- Next Page »
