I’m trying terribly hard to keep up to date with this but I’m failing completely on writing up the days out we have; we’ve settled into a rhythm of plenty of edu-lising (educational socialising!) with our etc groups ad they are great. The only problem with them for me is that whatever stage of healing and rehabilitation I am at at the moment is that I am not only incapable of planning ahead but also struggling to cope with noisy and confusion. I tend to zone out and do something minute instead; I only really realised it this week. I haven’t quite worked out why yet; I don’t know whether it is something general of the ‘protect equilibrium from too much input’ type of something more specific like ‘confused, noisy groups with lots of people remind me of scary moments from recent history’ panic. It doesn’t feel particularly the second, but it could be that it is. I do feel as if a lot of my processing power is still focused on ‘don’t think/don’t cry/don’t remember/don’t look forwards, backwards or sideways’ although less so, but still a lot. It feels pathetic to say I’m perpetually surprised by Monday and Wednesday mornings at the moment, but they get me every week. 🙁 I’m never ready for them.
Mind you, neither the time of year business wise or making November very full of stuff has really helped, probably. And I’m ramping up into a state of anxiety about a trip I have to make and the thought of doing an early Xmas is giving me panics. Xmas once this year is a horrible thought, let alone twice. I suspect I am going to have to opt out of that bit 🙁
I wish I felt better for having written that down in black and white. I don’t. I’m no nearer solving any of those problems than I was 3 months ago.
Anyway, there have been good things. Fran, Maddy and I have all done NanoWriMo and I’m so proud of them because they got to their targets today, having worked steadily and sensibly all month. Fran did 12,000 words, Maddy did 3000 words and I’m languishing on 40,000 – so they both beat me to the end. Masses of learning involved; just the sheer effort, the commitment, the thought and planning and all the literacy stuff too. Brilliant girls.
The first batch of Photo Holders is almost ready to put on sale – they and Zoe’s two have done a great job.
Then last week at Latinetc there was atom making and loads of learning with the normal group – thanks Helen.
I’m not entirely sure what music/French/Latin happened as I was having a zone out moment I think but I know they also did Escher style mosaic/tessellations with Zoe.
(A lot of stripy cardy action in that photo!)
The normal solitary, lonely snack time for a home educated child picture.
R has been to do various music lessons, including some treble clef games to help Fran out with that!
Family moment at work on the way to pick up daddy.
We also did another tessellating tile morning with Zoe and co, looking at Arabic design tiles and then trying to copy them and create new designs. Can’t find the photo. Will add it.
All of that is probably more truthfully representative of daily “did mathletics, did Nano, did Music practise, went to *insert activity of choice*, tidied up, did Fimo, practised for talent show and got in to final round” types of post.
We’ve all kept busy and been together, Josie is on the up again I think and well, that’s November.
I may even have missed a Historyetc in there, not sure, will have to check.
Thank you for saying that about the noise and confusion getting to you more than usual — I really feel this and I hadn’t pinpointed it to my own grief/post-traumatic stress issues. I’ve always been easily sent into a tizzy by chaos, but in the past nine months it’s been much worse. A messy house frequently sends me into tears, a ruined meal just about destroys me.
I really love reading about your family.