Yesterday the counsellor I’m seeing tore all of my “lalalalalalala… it’s not happening” defences into pieces. Consequently, all I really want to blog is “my baby boy is dead, my baby boy is dead.” I’m in pieces. However, that isn’t going to help, I think, so I’m going to blog something else instead.
I’ve fallen in love with the art by Paul Corfield; and having (ARGH!) not bought two cheap prints by him that I saw in a shop in Newark last week, I’m now really wishing I had.
Here’s a view from my childhood- the North Sea at Skegness; sea views with added oil rig. (And now, for your delectation, WIND FARMS!!!!) Max took me to Skegness, home of holidays and weekends of my smallest years. I needed to reclaim something of my childhood for myself and it was good to go.
Here’s a tree. The world and the weather has turned it and twisted it and pushed it about. But there it is, still there.
Josie drew penguins. Rather well I thought.
She also designed a board game. It has matching sets, pieces that mean other people can’t complete sets, money to buy them from other players, bluff pieces and miss a go pieces. She drew it, thought out the rules and taught it to me all on her own.
Maddy built Stonehenge in Fimo for her history round up.
All 4 Puddle Chicks stood on beams at once.
We added “The Scream in a Grape” to our previous “The Scream in a Yorkshire Pudding” photo collection.
Oh, also need to link to these lovely bracelets made by gorgeous June. There is a giveaway going, so go and like her on Facebook.
Understand the wanting to scream and the knowing it wouldn’t do any good….although I did take the opportunity to do so when the house was empty……….I used to feel like there was a running commentary in my head just saying over and over again “She’s dead, she’s dead” and eventually got so used to it that I hardly noticed it but then it would suddenly take me by surprise.
Still early days, glad you are talking about it……..(((hugs)))
Nina, it’s just shit, isn’t it?
I feel like that; like a computer which, if you open up task manager, has 95% of its processing power taken up with running 1 programme. Leaving just 5% for all the other things it needs to do.
x x i wish i could say or do something useful.
Yep, I have “my baby died” on a constant loop too.
Like your computer analogy Merry. :0)
Ah, yes, the constant “my baby is dead. my baby is dead.”, I am all too familiar with that. Love the tree picture, by the way.
I recognise that loop too. Although, now sometimes it’s punctuated by disbelief … did I really have a dead baby daughter?
P.S. Your children are brilliant!