Could you remind me to go and read this please?
And if you’d like an insight into living with chronic depression, go and read it too.
by
Could you remind me to go and read this please?
And if you’d like an insight into living with chronic depression, go and read it too.
The full dose indeed. I don’t think i’ll ever get off them to be honest. The slight downsides of them (requiring a very full servicing for full sexual delight being one of them 😉 )don’t seem to be worth the upside of not taking life so bloody personally all the time. I do have phases of feeling mildly like i’m living in a slightly unreal film and wouldn’t care if someone wiped out my entire family, but mostly it’s better than the alternatives.
So, you’re back on the full dose again?
Have you read Jon’s side of it too? Interesting stuff.
The thing that always impresses me about people like you and Dooce, is that you may be suffering, but gosh, you get an awful lot done!
((((Hugs)))))
Hi
When I read your blog you seem to have everything going for you :-
4 gorgeous daughters
A husband who sounds wonderful
Your own successful business
Your own home
A loving family
Lots of friends
etc etc
I just find it so hard to understand why all that isn’t making you happy.
Do you know what is causing your depression? I ask as I am very curious. To the outside world I should think people must be jealous of your life.
You seem like a very accomplished woman.
I hope you get better one day. Depression must be awful.
It’s a chemical thing; i can look back and say it has been triggered by reactions to grief since i was 7 years old and unfortunately, i’ve had a lot of grief inducing things happen in my life, mostly outside my control but the one that wasn’t finally landed me in an inescapable hole.
I won’t “get better” but it’s a management thing, learning to manage it is tough and sadly, the guilt attached to knowing i “should be happy” because of the things you listed just makes it worse. it’s very hard knowing that most people just don’t understand.
Have a read of the bit Alison linked to above; it’s extremely enlightening 🙂
Oh how I wish I was one of those people who do not understand depression and who think it is to do with the external realities of one’s life, because to think that means never to have suffered it. Depression is about a heart that has been broken in any number of invisible ways,perhaps for most of one’s life, and jobs, houses and even families do not mend a broken heart, and the disordered biochemistry that goes along with it. Personally I thank God for medications, because without them I for one wouldn’t still be here.
I am very pro-medication. i thinking professional talking also helps, but the meds give you the headspace to do the talking. there is no shame to using meds to enable you to have a life.
I’ve never yet resorted to medication for my depression, though recently I find myself wondering if I should take that step and just do it. I know I will have to do something.
Isn’t it strange that we wouldn’t think twice about taking medicine for something such as diabetes or a heart condition, but find it hard to contemplate taking it for a chemical disorder that mucks with our heads.
Must get my husband to read that blog on the being the one living with someone suffering from depression.
I think, like Jo, i can safely say i’d be dead and gone now without them. I hit a low so hard and fast in October, so much faster and so much worse than ever before, that i couldn’t honestly see a single reason for staying alive. I couldn’t even begin to imagine why my family wouldn’t be better off without me.
The difficulty, i think, with understanding depression if you don’t experience it, is that people don’t understand that it is as total a reversal of perspective as walking to the other end of the room. Absolutely EVERYTHING changes into the opposite and not only that, but your understanding of your saner self seems like that was the unhealthy version of you. Back in October, it made perfect sense to me, utterly perfect sense, to come up with a plan for killing myself and start slicing bits of my body. And if you can go that wrong in your head, without a clue how to stop feeling that way, then it isn’t surprising that houses, businesses and families don’t mean a great deal.
I’m all for tablets if that’s waht will give you the level of function you need to enjoy your gorgeous girls! Although I’d vote for a professional to talk to along side that (but only because I think that sort of thing works not because I have any evidence to go with that!) Depression sucks and is way too misunderstood, even by people who should understand it. and so what if it means your dearest DH has to work at putting a satisfied smile on your face that bit harder…. I’m sure he thinks you are worth it!!!!
Hello – long time lurker delurking to post a comment! I get infuriated when other people can’t see a “reason” for my depression, and they feel that there has to be one. I’ve been on & off meds for a while, but am now starting to realise that it’s not being “brave” by being off them, it’s bloody stupid! Thanks for the link!
I am totally pro medication. I’m lucky in that I haven’t experienced chronic depression, but I do know that having had a very acute depression for a couple of years, that the right medication, taken early and consistently, saved my sanity. I think the question of “why aren’t you happy” is as daft as asking someone why they get cancer, diabetes or whatever else they have. I’ve also never understood the obsession with weaning off anti-depressants as soon as possible. If we acknowledge that for some people depression is a chronic illness that can be well managed, why would we immediately want to wean them off the thing that was managing it. We wouldn’t suggest to a “well managed diabetic” that they should start weaning themselves off their insulin, we would just be pleased that they were finding a combination of drug/nutrition/exercise that was giving them an excellent quality of life. For me, medication for chronic depression is the same. It makes me so mad that there is still this stigma about mental illness, where it’s seen as some sort of lack of moral fibre.
I’ve read both the links and have been wondering what to say.
I grew up with parents who both suffered from depression, different types of depression. I have friends and family who suffer from depression. As far as I’m concerned there should’nt be a stigma about taking medication, depression is an illness.
(((hugs)))
Having known and loved people who used some very dangerous and self-destructive coping mechanisms – like extreme alcohol consumption, starvation and self-harm – I think that it is a damn good job there are drugs and other therapies that can help without doing so much damage.
If it helps then do it – that’s my approach to all pain management. I just wish that we were all more open about mental health generally. It’s not like anyone lives a life untouched by mental health crises (their own and other people’s) but we all have to act like it doesn’t happen.
Daisy-
If only having all thse lovely things could determine our happiness. Alas chemicals in the brain have other ideas – ones that we just cannot control though often we wish we could. Depression is unpredicatble, you cant choose how, when or why it affects you as I am sure anyone who suffers from would agree.
C
x
Not got much to say that’s not been said. We’re big fans of medication in this house too, and the more people talk about mental health as a real problem, the better. I think most GPs are getting happier with the idea of depression as a chronic illness needing longterm treatment, the problem is more often people thinking that because they feel OK now, they can stop the meds.
I completely agree with the people who say that a list of all the reasons why you “should be happy” is a horrible guilt trip. We can get morbidly consumed by guilt at the drop of a hat anyway, and it just isn’t useful. I do believe in the efficacy off cognitive behavioural therapy though I have much preferred to study it in private myself than to have my NHS psychiatrists try and dredge up a few half-remembered bits from Becks Depression Inventory and get me to make lists of what gives me pleasure on a scale of one to ten ( because y’know if he thought the scale STARTED at plus one, then I can’t talk to him already. )
Fiona
Hi
I have read your blog and your home ed website and wanted you to know how much you have inspired me to home ed my own children. I am lucky in that I have not suffered from depression, but I know those that do and have close family members who do and I know the hurt it causes them and those around them.
I think you should be proud of yourself for having all the good things you have inspite of the depression, if any thing you should be held up as a role model for those who suffer with the same illness – you prove that although tough, you CAN live with it and have a good life at that.
So, well done and long may your blog continue!
Kelly
I am also very pro both meds and talking therapy and believe that the more open people are about mental health issues , the more likely people will be to seek help and not hide becaues of the stigma. After all if you broke your leg you would get it fixed and take the pain killers so if your mind need support why not use the support that out there.
I wish you well
Rachel and Harry
well… I am pro medication too. The only thing that bothers me is the thought of you living in a surreal movie life… it kind of feels like you don’t get to win either way… (slightly negative perspective from me ?? ) It isn’t meant to be….
but
do you know what I mean??
No, i don’t get to win either way. But then, i knew that was going to be the result of all this for me anyway. Even when i don’t feel crap, i just feel crap that i don’t feel crap. Ho hum.