Okay, brave Merry stepped back out into the outside world AND went to one of her least comfort zone areas of pboro today (where she realised she was distinctly middle class and set in her ways.)
So, first thing, whipped the children through normals as best i could in a short amount of time, bashed out some parcels (quiet, quiet day on the site yesterday 😕 although somewhat saved by £180 worth to one person at 11.30pm, on the phone who, among other things, ordered 69 bags of one colour!) and then grabbed enough stuff to last the morning, a handful of overseas parcels i needed to post at the PO since my smartstamp is on the blink and various other bits and headed out.
First stop was the HE group that we’ve not been to in almost exactly a year; i’ve been hibernating and avoiding people since 🙁 Still very nice, good venue, (if a bit scary!) and the laid on activities of human body and health were excellent. Girls liked doing blood pressure and heartbeats, cleaning pennies with cola, making healthy pizzas and more, so thanks to H and L for that.
Chris then pointed out it was A World in the afternoon, so went haring across town to post and shop, then took them all there. That was good too, they all had fun and i got to chat, though i did nearly come unstuck at the number of babies and bumps at one point 🙁 Is it weird to have got throguh MOnday just fine and now be feeling freaked out by knowing that this time last year i WASN’T pregnant, do you think? It feels awfully sad and very much ‘in the past’ now, which is a bit disconcerting. i think maybe i need more pills; i have a feeling i’ve got addicted to being blissfully happy and unconcerned by life…. i wonder if that is a bad thing? Tricky one… blissfully happy and unflappable but with no sex drive, or mental, despairing, horny and broody….. hm… talk about a hobsons choice 😕 😥
So after that we flew home, despatched much cardboard and sundry other bits of crap ‘useful to others than us items’ on Chris and the Beans and hunted down the errant ballet and tap shoes before heading out at great speed again. And then Joey and i went to the garden centre for rabbit food, only i’d forgotten my cards… so we window shopped and discussed wooden ducks instead.
Did have a variety of conversations with children too… have forgotten them all.
Youi know this already, give yourself time.
lol @ ‘a bit scary’ sounds like one of our local groups (the venue, not the people) ;0)
So did you actually find the various shoes in th end – I did rather wonder if you would. I did like Amelie’s and Maddy’s, ‘wander around hopefully until the shoes leap out at us’ searching technique 🙂
*rolls eyes expressively* Yes, we did, astonishingly, and against all the odds, they were in the shoe basket 😕
If you are looking for something to top up/ instead of your pills, why not try fish oil!?
There is a book ‘healing without freud or prozac’ which has a chapter on why fish oil is helpful. Main points are that after preg and b’feeding we get severely depleted of omegas and esp with western diet the balance is already warped in most ppl’s diet. There has been good success rate with bi polar even, so it can be helpful in hardcore depression, but most people who take, (actually everybody in my experience), whatever level of depression, find that fish oil picks them up a treat.
Something like a high level, high quality toxin free oil – MorEPA, ( no, I don’t sell it.lol. can be bought at first vitality and do junior types too). Can take up to 60 days to really be able to feel difference, but if you stop taking it plummets more quickly. Some people feel difference after a week or two, so down to that unique person thing again. Anyway, you only have 16.99 to lose and the battle to remember to take them as part of daily routine.))
Hey, you even get to keep your libido!
It depends if your ‘downer’ started when you had kids or not. For those (hopefully few) of us who had it way earlier I doubt if fish oil is the solution? Blimey, libido? If I don’t top my husband it’s a good day! 😉
PS. Merry, we really MUST meet.
I’m not sure Ruth, it may be even more effective, as if there was depression before, the further depletion of our resources makes for a worse nutritional plunge, and we already had things stacked against us iykwim.
If one’s depression is *purely after* having children, with absolutely no indication of previous traumas or un dealt with issues, then it is more likely, (unless birth trauma, lack of support and social interaction etc are suddenly issues that raise their head etc etc) to be a chemical imbalance/ hormonal issue rather than any longterm issues needing counselling and a dietary/ lifestyle change. and unless of course there are lots of children in a small space of time, which puts strain on anyone.
I have thought of blogging my personal journey with and thoughts on depression, however, there are so many ways of managing it, and it really needs to be a personal choice, plus I don’t really want to be told I don’t understand simply because I didn’t opt for anti D’s!!! grin.
It is almost like it is a new trend to say that, well, your depression wasn’t so physical or serious as mine if you could think your way out of it with placebo’s. People simply work with depression/ suicidal tendencies differently and also may choose to live with different levels of ‘blissfully happy and unconcerned by life’ or not!
Like some people take different types of pills for a headache and some don’t at all. I’m not talking about the level of complete non functionality, (word!?!lol. doesn’t matter, you get my drift), where some kind of intervention is needed for physical or mental manifestations. I know someone who lived with psychosis for a year!!!!!? without doctors picking it up. just disgraceful. they didn’t hand her out the meds when she needed them and failed her totally.
but sometimes saying we have a chemical imbalance and that is why we are depressed can also be a cop out to working with the underlying issues where they exist, which is why I rate Merry for her refs to having made the time to talk through things with someone who could be a support.
the main factors with depression are:
lifestyle choices, (diet, exercise and so on),
social support,
one;s attitude to life events (- whether buoyant or not, optimistic/ pesimistic),
history of prior depression or not, (relapses more common)
one’s spirituality is also known to have an altering effect on depression
In my own case, I know PND, whilst having something to do with hormonal changes and imbalances, was mainly due to past events, extremely pessimistic attitude and expectations, awful lifestyle choices in terms of diet and a decrease in exercise after children were born, no social support at one time for an extended period of time, definitely depression previously, although I assumed it was normal state of being.lol, and lack of spiritual expression.
Homeopathy was my immediate practical lifeline when I was hanging by a thread, fish oil transformed my mood so dramatically I can’t recommend it enough, social support and a compassionate heart to listen to my woes was so soothing and made anything good seem possible again. exercise. pah, what’s *that*!?! wink.still needs addressing!
the child I had least depression with was a summer baby, (lots of outside time), and I was freshly and *actively* into a spiritual path. I had made diet changes too.
when I read people’s accounts of depression I sometimes think, oh maybe I’m still depressed, but I think we should feel down and up and hurt and pain – it is, imo, what makes us sentient beings. when one gets vertigo like Deb, then that is another matter, if you think you’re going to fling yourself off a cliff, then that’s not really a level of pain which is working anymore!!!! but some pain and grief are part of healing the past too. disappointment, regret etc are often okay to feel and function with.
um, I think I just blogged in your comments Merry, sorry. Believe me this is only touching the surface of it though!!!!!!
Shukr, I can personally relate to and would support what you say and yes, fish oils work a treat for me!
Freedom of choice is paramount though, and I don’t want to knock anyone’s way of coping. I say: if it works for you, do it. If it doesn’t, try other things until something does!
I’d vote for “complementary therapies” alongside the drugs until you can happily breeze into a room full of bumps and babies without batting an eyelid then start talking to your GP about gradually cutting down but then I’m all for hedging my bets and taking anything and everything!!
Well done for facing up to home ed group though, I think that has got to tell you something about how far you ahve come doesn’t it?
Oh, and what’s all that about with shoes being in teh shoe basket? Wierd….
Wasn’t suggesting you actually leave AD’s Merry, sorry if it read that way. Just exploring how multi faceted depression and PND can be. It is definitely not a one size fits all illness, and therefore there cannot be a one size fits all cure.
That’s why it is so helpful to look at lots of different ways to go about healing.
Incidentally, I always remember your response to homeopathy Merry, that ‘it nearly killed me’! Wouldn’t dare suggest that to you as an option again!!!
I am a drugs and counselling kind a girl really!
but mainly posted on here to say thankyou for juicer and cardboard boxes, but ambivalent over other crap!! at present a box full on our dirve. Chris assures me he has a plan!!!
It was good to see you at the session on Friday, and glad you all enjoyed it. Take it you meant the venue was a little scary (it kind of smells of schools doesn’t it?!), not the people! Perhaps we’ll see you all again soon? Elle
It was the graffiti – broguht me out in nervous hives 😉