Rather a lot of today requires glossing over 🙄 In fact, in honour of myself on my next truly F- Mothering Day, all i shall say about it is that i didn’t lose my temper once, i didn’t wade into any of the fights and i calmly repeated things like “they way you are speaking to each other is upsetting me” or “the fact that you aren’t doing what i ask is upsetting me” on a regular and patient basis. I so hate hearing myself screaming “Don’t yell at each other!!!” so i’m really trying to model a more measured approach to family relations. For all Fran and Maddy never fight, the other combinations do (*cough* Amelie *cough*) Mummy Flower was chuckling in the background and occasionally saying things like “it’s so nice to hear someone saying outloud all the things that i feel like only i feel.” 😆 Glad to be of service 😉
New toy of the morning was a set of geomag decopanels that were marked down from £70 to £30 at Amazon (a whopping big set!) – Maddy and i have had a blast with them today and geomaged a pic of her face. Amelie carried on with the project she started yesterday, making a display of shapes with patterns of colour built into them. They really are lovely. Hopefully we’ll carry that on over the weekend. (And yes, i know £30 would have been lots for an ORDINARY set of geomags, but think what i SAVED!!!!! 😆 )
Fortunately for all concerned they then went off to play some game in the garden, which was good as by that time Fran and i had had a fight over a book, a patchwork square and whether or not a lung ache that only appears after being asked to do some work actually constitutes a real illness, Amelie and i had faced off over some tidying, bullying Maddy and something i can’t even remember, Josie and i had had a “are you actually allowed to spit in mummy’s face” battle and even Maddy and i had fallen out over her inability to follow even basic instruction, something which seems to have gone into a regression stage over the last week or 2. 🙄 (There you see, the sordid face of home education!)
I retired to my bed to read and dozed off instantly, mainly demonstrating that we all get on better if i don’t have a late night.
Book is about Isabella of France and Edward II and is fascinating me, although it is a hardish read in some ways, but i love all the detail and am glued to the illustration of the rise of the Yorks and Lancasters and descriptions of English territories in France. Gosh, we did such boring history at school in comparison.
I went out for a bike ride and when i came back i got bearded by two little boys from the street, of 7 or so. One shouted over “we’ve heard your kids don’t go to school” and the other immediately came over to ask me about it. The first immediately launched into a tirade (yes really) about how they wouldn’t be clever if they didn’t go to school, they must be bad children, i couldn’t teach them anything so they’d always be stupid and the second launched, almost without drawing breath, into a onesided conversation about how he was the best at karate, best a football, best at this that and the other – and just didn’t stop.
I’m not sure what i drew from this conversation, except that i found myself practically descending to their level at times and being a bit too dismissive, but lots of things about it bother me. My main reaction was kind of….
Where did all that come from? Why? Who is saying what? Why do they need to talk about it, wonder about it, go on at me about it? The next was the fact that built into me somewhere was a politeness that didn’t say to them “school is crap and that’s why i don’t waste my childrens time with it!” (lol, no offense to anyone) and then a bit of me just felt DEEPLY tired, discouraged and bored by the whole prejudice, lack of insight, lack of thinking outside the box, ingrained “we do this and at 7 we already think we absolutely know best”.
Not expressed very well. But you know what? I spend loads of time with kids, HE’ed kids and i can TALK to them. I just couldn’t have a conversation with these two. Nice enough boys, curious, but just… well, institutionalised and presumably fed a load of “not going to school is WRONG” by parents who don’t want to be challenged by what someone else is doing. I just couldn’t converse with them. They were both full of being right, being best, telling me they were already famous footballers, telling me they were level 6 readers and my kids would never learn to read because i was teaching them. They talked over me, through me, didn’t listen but wanted to know and ARGH… i just felt tired by it.
And not wrong.
Nothing else; took Ams to doctor for infected lymph glands (or something) and she’s been referred to a paediatrician for allergies and ent stuff. Then went out shopping with her, got co-erced into stuff she wanted and bought some Aquabeads to try out to see if i want to sell them.