Pah

Pah and thrice pah.

Life is never simple; i’ve gone from 2 helpers back to one, next week i’ll have none, i’ve got complicated decisions to make, things to change, systems to create and all manner of malarky. I’d sell up like a shot just now. I really would. It all just feels way too big and frightening and is taking up too much of my time.

Added to which i’ve now successfully put on a stone since Christmas Eve, despite new cycling and healthy eating lifestyle. In fact, i’ve put on 7lbs since i gave up biscuits. PAH.

PAH PAH PAH. However having just shrieked down the phone at someone who told me to create more me time in my life, i’ve decided to restart the pills. If nothing else they might shift the lbs. (The advice was well intentioned by the way, it’s just that.. well… if i thought there was any space for sitting and doing business plans, i’d do it. But given the choice between a 30 minute cycle, a bath or a business plan, the plan is losing out 🙁 )

So today began with 50 parcels, which me and the novice managed to get out by 12pm, mostly her, but i needed to be here so we missed out on the zoo. Fortunately i hadn’t told the girls about that 😕

However, they’ve got really good at the morning routine, so Fran did loads of EC in a very applied fashion, read some Teddy Robinson, played with Baby Flower in her best big sister style and began a book review blog which i’ve promised to assist with tomorrow. She’s enjoying the EC French and getting a decent accent, while chucking words in here and there and asking pertinent questions about what “exchanges” are 😯 (REMIND ME to never bloody well say never again. Not that it matters, she isn’t going!)

A while ago she asked me if it would be possible for me to start having babies again, even though i’d now stopped 😥 She was giving me a load of “see how good i am with this baby” looks again today and it just about breaks me in two. Although not quite as badly as seeing Josie fawning over the same baby does. And there i thought she’d have hated a baby 😕

Mind you, it’s probably all face; i caught her breastfeeding a toy panda the other day; both sides, shirt up, the world stopped till he was done. I think what made me laugh the most though was the banter she was engaging in with him as she fed him and the way he was ordering her around to get what he wanted. And, you know when you hear your own rants in your kids’ voices and it makes you feel rubbish? Well, i listened in on her and him and heard all this loving silliness she was coming out with and realised that at least in that i can hear her modelling a loving, gentle thing that we’ve shared. That’s good anyway 🙂

Maddy did some guitar practise, read several pages of 3b outloud to me (but really to herself, confidence growing) did some Studydog and got stars on 2 levels and then i gave her 3 pages of re-cap sums in a Singapore 1B book (i think, the orange one) – she did 40 sums with only 2 mistakes and given i just left her two it and shes done no written maths in ages, i was very impressed.

Amelie and Josie drew, played shape dominos, entertained Baby Flower, did counting (Josie can now do 1,3,5,6,7,8,9,10,12) and played a mental game of daftness that did at least involve counting backwards a lot! I’ve had Amelie writing words out a bit recently, which she loves, and copying random flashcards just for fun. She likes that. She’s also hugely into Peter and the Wolf and The Nutcracker at the moment, which i must indulge.

For my Monday 2 hours off, i rode my bike 6 miles and tried to get as muddy as possible and then tidied my bedroom. Yesterday Fran and i went to Ikea (for MORE office shelves) and i bought blind, curtains and bedspread for my room to match the painting i bought recently too. So really i need to excavate it from the 8 boxes of crud it is under, particularly as a) i’ve promised to help a friend declutter and i need to do me first and b) my children are shortly going to start noticing that they have tidier rooms than i do 😕

The girls, Sue & Mini-Violet had a lovely time; MV idolises them and Josie was actually nice to her today 😆 – they also tidied up and hoovered ( i’ve lost my cleaner for the foreseeable future 🙁 ) so that was great too.

When i got back they all went creative for a while and danced, played, gamed, made things, did a bit of sewing etc etc and then everyone got out a jigsaw and did that – Fran did one on Rome, Maddy one on animals around the world and Amelie a rainforest one. Then, thankfully, Max arrived home with food 🙂

Not got round to the various tags (sorry, will do it) and have the deep joy of a smear test tomorrow (wail, that’ll just be lovely then) but am not putting it off as if ever there was a person who could put something off for 6 months and then get told 6 months later they were 6 months too late, it’ll be me. Knowing my luck, my 6 months overdue period will arrive tomorrow morning though 🙄 (But then maybe that is where the extra stone is lurking.

However, having tried hard to shake off the gloom, i can’t, so i’m off now to go and open those pills. Hazy glow, here i come 😕