I am completely incandescent with rage. My collection driver didn’t turn up today, so i rang up to ask for one. I got the manager, who came out suited and so on to collect my post bags, but then asked to speak to me.
Apparently, 1 or more of my drivers, of whom at least 2 are fathers and who all apparently say i’m friendly and approachable, have complained that the fact that Josie wanders around naked in the background is embarrassing to them. I’m supposed to stop this from happening in the future so that 3 men who come to my door for 3 minutes a day don’t have to feel awkward about a naked potty training 2 year old wandering about in HER OWN HOME. :wall:
Now, if one of them had said this to me, i might well have said “gosh, i’m really sorry, i should have thought that it might bother you.” Frankly, i’d be less offended to have got a complaint about ME – i’m often still in pyjamas when they arrive! But i cannot honestly believe that this can seriously be a big enough issue to warrant requiring a managers visit to my home, to tell me off, in my own home, about how my toddler chooses to dress, or not, as the case maybe.
I dress Josie about 4 times a day; if i put clothes on her in the upstairs lounge as they knocked the door (which is hardly practical), by the time i had handed all the bags out to them, she’d be naked and downstairs. She can let herself out of all the rooms, so quite honestly, my only option is to hold the door shut on the kitchen and keep her in there while she screams the place down so as to save their blushes. The manager suggested that i leave my parcels outside, but a) i send out a high value of stuff most days so it isn’t practical, b) then my neighbours will probably complain that my business makes the place look unsightly and c) it’s winter and winter means rain, snow and wet parcels.
It isn’t that i completely don’t get it; paranoia is rife and i suppose men are scared of being accused of things. But accused of what? She walks around in the background or holds on to my leg. They aren’t actually in the room with her, they don’t have to touch her, talk to her, look after her, be alone with her or do anything else that could put them in an awkward position – and her mother is there constantly.
You can just imagine what is going to happen next; this will actually be an opportunity to have a niggle at that woman whose children aren’t in school and before i know it, i’ll have a Social Worker round. 🙄 Some toddlers go through naked phases and while i don’t particularly like it given she has plenty of nice clothes, it’s a phase, Maddy went through the same phase, i’m not going to make an issue of it given all the sensory problems Maddy had; she’s warm, fed and loved and i’m bloody annoyed to have been made to feel like a negligent parent who has embarrassing children :rant:
I know we have to protect children from oddly inclined men and women, i know that we have to stop men and women of being unneccessarily accused but this is a 2 year old, not Fran and Maddy, FFS, i just can’t see any need for it. I mean really; do they make formal complaints to companies with skimpily dressed receptionists????
:wall: :rant: :wall: :rant:
I’m so mad about this that i can’t actually decide whether or not there is any justification about it at all; i’ve put the ball back in their court by demanding that they provide me with female collection drivers from now on but apparently that might be too difficult. Well, in that case, it is too difficult for me to keep clothes on my naturist 2 year old daughter then.
That is totally shocking!!!!!
Was the manager militant, or demure? Did he seem like he thought it was important? I hate the issues we are forced to have with nudity at the best of times, but that is bloody rediculous!
i think, to be honest, he was utterly embarrassed to be having to say it. I was so glad that not only was Josie naked, but i was wearing a nice and low cut top!
It is almost funny, isn’t it?
How many of those drivers read The Sun, go on holidays to Greece, etc, etc. But the kind of nudity that is the most natural and should pass unnoticed causes them problems.
I have problems with pre-teens/teens wandering around dressed like sluts, I think that looks horrid and can be quite disconcerting and disturbing, but not naked babies. Well, I have a problem if they drip on me, but that is about it. 🙂
I’ve found out a bit more about it now – and SURPRISE! – the one who complained about this “highly sensitive issue” was the one who moaned at me the other day for me giving him too much post. He didn’t even go to his own manager but took it further up so the suity man had to come out.
Honestly, i do think it was handled completely wrongly – for a start they could just have sorted out changing him to a different round if he found it so difficult!
yeah, so just ignore it and don’t give it the time of day as it is blatantly unreasonable and just wrong!
Trouble is, i can’t just ignore it can i, because they have to come to my house everyday, i have to deal with it somehow, and either dressing or containing Josie is going to provoke her rage. AND, having spoken to the line manager this afternoon, i now know that this has been going on for 2 weeks or more and has been referred to as “a matter of great sensitivity that is not to be discussed at staff level” and that sounds more like they’ve witnessed abuse at my house or something. I just hate to think what the relief drivers that occasionally swap in might be thinking i’m up to.
Well I don’t believe there are any laws anywhere saying that you’re not allowed to be naked in your own house, regardless of your age. And at the end of the day YOU are employing THEM! Do they want your business or not. It is pretty deplorable that it should be brought to your attention at all, as it is clearly their problem and not yours.
It is totally outrageous. write a letter to the manager asking why a 2 year old cannot walk naked in their own home pointing out the adults and older children are all appropriately dressed, and that this is a short term phase, common to many toddlers, and a 3 minute contact for them.
Ask what the particular problem is, and suggest that if a grown man finds a naked 2 year old disturbing, then perhaps they are not the most appropriate person to be picking up from family homes, as most would not bat an eyelid at a child of that age.
yeag, on reflection you def have concerns about someone who can find a naked 2 year old disturbing, and would prefer they did not come again.
You know what is really mad? I’ve requested female collection drivers from now on and been told i can’t make that request without being regarded by them as having made an sexist request to a workplace!!!!!!!!!!
well, i would suggest to the manager that you are worried that the driver that has a problem with a naked 2 year old may well be a latent paedophile. Ask if they have been Crb checked.
that you think you never want him on the round again. are you the only one with children etc?
SB was a naked girl, and only this summer did i suggest that at 5 she should prob keep knickers on now.
I think it’s really sick and sad that a naked 2-year old should present a problem to anyone. What happens in summer with paddling pools, in gardens and public parks? On beaches, in swimming pools – surely everyone isn’t running around keeping their 2 yr-olds covered up nowadays for fear of offending someone?
My Lyddie’s 4 and still likes to strip off and be naked in the house sometimes and is seen by postmen, visitors etc. in that state. It’s never occured to me that anyone might have a problem with it.
Cant you find another courier then? Someone who doesn’t mind taking your money and doing the job they’re supposed to do? You might want to mention that to Royal Mail – that you know, in this day of competition you are sure you can find non-peadophile obsessed Freudian-couch wannabes who can take the mail and send it out….
Well why dont you argue they are being sexist and childist(ish) then?
Challenge them to state unequivocally if they think there is anything specific they think is wrong with Josie’s behaviour.
If there is, then you can address the specific issue. If (which I rather doubt) a manager in his/hercpacity as an officer of the organisation is prepared to state that they as an organisation see her behaviour as anything other than perfectly normal, then a) refer the person concerned to their own mother so they can ask how their own potty training was dealt with and then b) speak to the next human up the chain.
If they say the organisation accepts your behaviour then I think you can say to them that their staff clearly have some kind of problems with their sexuality. If this is causing them problems carrying out a reasonable part of their daily work then their employer should provide counselling and support to that staff member and until they are “better” relieve them of any particular deliveries which cause them problems.
Why dont you counter complain about him and his attitude – that would be on his file and if you kept on complaining (and if others do too) then more likely than not he’d be the one having to answer questions rather than YOU. He’s probably just a lazy so and so and is using the only excuse he can think of not to turn up at your house and do serious work 😉
I’m with Helen, having thought about it. If a driver has a problem with a naked 2yo you’ve got to wonder exactly what his problem is.
And have had my social worker friend here this evening and she said not to worry because if anything like that ever got reported to them they would laugh and tell the person who reported it to get lost! (well maybe not in so many words, but there we go).
OMG, thats totally ridiculous! DS2 and 3 (at 4 and nearly 6) are often naked in our front window watching the world go by (although I do stop DS2 standing up and pressing himself against the glass “because its funny” *sigh* ) and if someone suggested to me that even they should put clothes on to not offend the postman I’d tell them where to get off! If you want to comply I’d hang a dressing gown or overhead towel thing by the front door and stuff it on her just before you open the door. That way shes covered when they arrive and what she does while you are dealing with them can’t be helped. But I would definitely complain further if you have the stomach for it. *Hugs for having to deal with such crap*
I’ve come up with the perfect plan. I’m going to get a little black eyemask and hang it on a little hook outside with a note requesting that anyoner who finds naked 2 year olds offensive puts it on before they knock.
That should sort out the normal men from the idiot arses with too much time on their hands!
What on earth is the world coming to, just thinking if its sexist to ask for a female driver surely its breaching Josies human rights to expect her to be dressed against her will.
Shall i change that to human for you? it sounds slightly indecent! 😉
Blimey, how sad! We have had naked children flitting about the place for years. The organic veg box people never really saw P clothed as far as I recall. She was largely naked in the house until at least four.
I would complain higher up than the suited man that came round. I’d send in a written complaint that makes the point that your children are in their own home and that this is a ridiculous over-reaction to an everyday situation. And I’d demand an apology. Stupid, ignorant, worrying nonsense… Ooh, I’m incandescent as well now…
oh my flippin gosh!!
that is ridiculous!!
i do like your eyemask idea tho pmsl!!
oh my flippin gosh!!
that is ridiculous!!
i do like your eyemask idea tho pmsl!!
People have some funny ideas. I remember being at the beach once when the children were under 5. They were both naked running in and out of the sea. This man came by and told me this was disgraceful. He was a rather portly person wearing tiny trunks that left nothing to the imagination. I hope you get an apology from them.