… and the start of ours.
Business picked up again the early part of the week, but has now tailed right off again so i’m guessing that probably is pretty much it. It isn’t too bad, i’d like to see the back of a little bit more left over stock yet, but overall i’ve ended up reasonably well in control of it i think. No horrendous quantities of anything except the large pirates i don’t think! Might do a special offer to end the period, but i’m pretty sure i won’t see much more business now. So after 4 months of solid parcel packing, the light is at the end of the tunnel and i can start to think about our Christmas. Fortunately, most of my shopping is done aside from the obligatory trip to town to find something from the girls to Max and ride on the roundabout thing while going ooh at the lights 🙂 I might even end up with one spare each of the wooden games i bought in to play on Boxing Day.
Max and i have been oggling old board games we had on ebay; The London Game, Game of Dracula, The game of Britain, Buccaneer and so on. Very tempting to buy them all! Our Christmas present is tucked in the corner already though, which is one of these and we’re trying to decide when we are actually allowed to open it, in order to give the children time to learn how to use it and explain it too us before the “good films at Christmas (which tend not to actually happen anymore) start” 😉
This week has passed really fast and i don’t think we’ve actually been out 😯 Monday we laminated snowflakes and um… not sure, tuesday i actually have no idea now but i know they were happily occupied, Wednesday we played beautifully with the beans all day and yesterday we had a visit from Chloe and Michelle which was truly lovely company on a difficult day.
Michelle brought baubles and glass pens to decorate them, i didn’t have any food 😯 we covered baubles in air-drying clay and i tried to make a nativity set but didn’t do a very good job.
When everything went so horribly wrong in April, we decided that what we’d learn from it was how to make the best o,f and give our best too, the children we have. It has been such a hard year, i think i’ve had times of real mental illness and times when i’ve thought and pondered on things i never believed i would come to even considering. I’m not entirely sure i’m ever going to come off anti-depressants now and i’ve never felt like that before but the thought of going back to such dreadful undulating, gripping depression and anxiety utterly terrifies me. I like myself, the person who can throw off what other people think of me, better and i don’t yet know if that is because i’ve really changed or because i’m chemically enhanced. But whatever, without them i think i might not have got to the end of the year, even despite the love and care of my husband and the offers of support from friends. That was how bad it got.
I don’t want to think sad and grim thoughts on the 14th December every year or ponder on might-have-beens, so i decided yesterday that from now on i will always start to decorate the house on the 14th – and so in a very small way, that is what we did.
Lovely post. xx
Yes, lovley post.
I don’t know anything about anti-depressants, but whilst they undoubtedly help you cope better with circumstances, I don’t really see how they can actually make you a stronger person – I think that bit has been your own work this year, so well done.
I guess there will always be sad thoughts on the 14th (there were here) and the might-have-beens will continue to get you at random painful moments, but I think your plan that Christmas starts then is an excellent (if also tear-jerking!) plan.
Hope the next few days bring you enough business to keep you busy enough to not sit about twiddling your thumbs and letting your mind wander, but enough time to enjoy the Christmas preparation with your girls.
I think one day you will not need ADs but maybe you should be thinking years instead of months. The goal isnt to get off them, it is to get to a stage when you survive without them. As someone who used to be anti anti-depressants I can only hope those who try to talk you out of them never have to hit rock bottom to need them.
Take each step as it comes. Dont look at the mountain ahead, lower your gaze and savour each moment.
((hugs))
Really appreciated the comments here, thank you. 🙂
((hugs)) I think its a lovely plan and I hope that it lets you remember without too much pain.