… i wish that i were back 8 years ago and had it all to do again. I wish that i had known how to birth and how to shine with effortless ease at that most basic skill. I wish that i was the mother i meant to be, wholesome, engaged and endlessly patient, never busy, or tired, or sad, or stressed. I wish that i could carry on, endlessly, evermore, without fear or doubt or danger. I wish that we still wanted the same, i wish that i could change my mind or change that urge within. I wish that i had taken more care back then, then maybe, maybe late this year we would have chosen one more time – and that little one would have come then, been loved, been held, wanted and adored.
I wish that i was still the girl – and not the woman i have become.