A Week in Incidents.

This week can probably be summed up by describing the following:-

*During the big girls swimming lessons, i normally buy the little ones some sweets. This week i bought them Love Hearts… then i stopped paying attention. Next time i looked at Josie, she had stuff every single one of them into her mouth at once and was foaming pink and sugary foam from her mouth, nose and had i left it any longer, probably her eyes and ears as well. She looked like she might have learned her lesson as i whisked her to the toilets among the horrified gazes of ‘Organic Mothers’ and hauled 14 sweet fragments from between her gums, but no, she choked on an entire banana today.

*I dragged on a pair of trousers, decided it was ridiculous that i still hadn’t sewn the button on them and grabbed the button had bought, some pink thread (khaki trousers, so what else?) and a cross stitch needle 🙄 and sewed them on while i was in them, shaking Josie off as i did. When i stood up, button safely and tightly in place, i realised i had my trousers on inside out and consequently the button was on the inside.

*My mum gave Maddy some gorgeous hair clips with little ragdolls on them. Maddy put them in, my mum and nana went “aaaah” and Maddy said “Look.. scarecrows for nits!”

*Taking my children out for a lovely hands on, CM moment in the ruins of Lady Jane Greys house, giving them an explanation of her story that impressed the steward, then employing a technique from the 2nd parenting book i have ever read to get us back to the car whinge free and all feeling fulfilled and delighted. Then i discovered i had managed to drop my phone somewhere on the mile or so back 👿 🙄 Immediately start swearing and ranting at children (oops, parenting lady clad in tartan probably still has work to do then) am forced to use PAYPHONE (while explaining it to mystified children) but can’t get through to dad and don’t know Max’s number – decide parents are away because sister must be in labour, then (in a leap of randomness which i think Chris P will like) decide that whoever finds my phone will no doubt ring my parents and Max and prank call and tell them i’m dead – and go completely to pieces.

Drive like loon back to parents house only to dicover nice lady has used my phone to call my dad and handed phone into Police Station. First lost phone in 10 years, no doubt triggered by being the only one not to have phone insurance EVER. Cannot decide if my Theory of Inevitable Consequence is proved or disproved by it being handed in and does this mean i should double or cancel my life insurance?