So.

Amelie refused to go to nursery today. Tonight she has sat with Max and i and told us quite clearly that she wants to stay at home and that she won’t miss the friends she has made. Me, i’m not convinced of that, nor am i convinced she understands that once i withdraw her, she can’t get her place back, but i think at this stage it’s time to listen. So i’ll go in with her, today or tomorrow, talk to her teacher, let her make a choice once she is actually there, then if she still wants me to, i’ll withdraw her.

Do have one final ploy up my sleeve. Today she was asking repeatedly to do “work” with me – so i sat and did some numbers and drawing in her own little book. Tomorrow i’ll do that first thing and see if that satisfies her need for mummy time enough that she wants to go. She doesn’t seem to dislike nursery, she just seems not to want to be away from here. I’m bored to tears with dealing with it now, so this week is the last effort i am going to make. Maddy used to ask for nursery all through half term, Amelie just forgot all about it.

That said, she also drove me slightly screaming mad today; we’ve got this constant “stupid remark” thing going on, coupled with “stupid actions” – “i need a wee” being a typical remark (well go upstairs and go for one like you have for the last year then) or deliberately putting shoes on the wrong feet. The child is clearly begging for attention 🙁 However, she loved me doing letters and drawing with her and we set her up with the Cbeebies site too, which pleased her. I might even get her started on Studydog, she could probably do it.

Maddy made me laugh (with gritted teeth) today. The next section in her maths book is subtracting in teens; i showed her with blocks and just got a persistantly bored face. Tried engaging her; not interested. I was about to give up when she told me she’d do it if i wrote, so i prepared to coach her through a page. She instantly reeled off 3 pages, flawlessly, without explanation.

Ahem. 🙄

Fran wrote a 3 sentence story “I went to the zoo one day. I saw an ostrich on the way. Come on, let’s run like an ostrich.” It has something of a Cbeebies sound to it but i didn’t ask. Enough that she wrote it!) She finished the last 3 Titchy Witch books too but other than that they all resisted me all day.

I wrestled one bit of the tax office into submission, that leaves the other bit (sigh) still to sort out. Got a feeling tax credits could be a decidedly mixed blessing this year 🙁 But mostly i just cried a lot. I did find quite a useful page on Birth Trauma, if anyone is interested or might know someonew it could be useful for. Thanks for all the comments, emails, IMs. I’ll probably hibernate towards the end of the week and avoid thinking.

Kids don’t seem to need me at the moment, not even Josie really, just Amelie. I’d quite like to sleep for a month, i seem to be so stupidly tired. In fact, bed is where i’m going. Bugger the novel in a month. Bugger the beads. Bugger everything. (But not my friends.)