We “took in a movie” again today, this time Pooh’s Heffalump Movie. As we left, i said to fran “I’ll take you to the older girls ones next year, you are getting a bit big for films like that now aren’t you?” Cue shocked look from Fran. “Nooooooooooooooooo!” she said emphatically. Awwww…. bless her. She is growing up though, her 3/4 length trousers aren’t ankle length anymore either… sob. I’m having a definite attack of peter Pan Complex by Proxy at the moment. They can’t grow up, i haven’t been young, wild and beautiful yet 😯
Spent the afternoon in Activity World, with a smallish group of MuddlePuddlers. My lot made some new friends but all seemed a bit weary quite quickly. When we got home my beads had arrived, all 5 boxes. I’ve ordered lots of kits, hopefully to sell for Xmas, and lots of them have got extra free beads in. Must get them up on the site tomorrow as i have a feeling this months bill is going to be a whopper!
I’ve spent the evening parcelling, was planning to watch a dodgy chick flick but the ntl box has played up on me, so might get Love Actually back out of the Amazon envelope. Also watched The Bourne Supremacy this week and have got The Kingdom of Heaven and Cabaret for this weekend. We hardly ever watch films but this week we’ve gone to town!
Of course they can grow up! you can have your time once they have and have flown the nest. That has been my plan from day one :-). I’m going to travel the world as an adult with old eyes, ones that really appreciate what they see through the knowledge that being a mother and a person in my own right has shown me. It is something that really tingles in my veins!
Somehow, i’m just not quite there yet.Having a bit of a crisis about it, i think. I’m just not ready to be someone who has “had” her children 🙁
Yep Ros, one of the great advantages of having your kids fairly young. (The other of course being that you probably weren’t very rich when the first one was born, so the ensuing poverty isn’t too much of a shock.)
Can’t imagine being like most of the other people I was at College with, who are just starting to get married and have the odd baby.
Saw Heffalump today too, but only took the little ones – we have seen it before, and P&M were quite grateful not to have to watch it again! Thought it was dire, although it did make me laugh once.
I’d just like to start again and do it better.
I mainly giggled at the dodgy english accent of the heffalump.
But they NEVER stop being your children. You need to realise you are more than their mother you are a person on your own, you are a wife, a woman, a friend, a being. They will nedd you to be their mother until the day they die, but they need you to grow with them and enjoy the wonder that each and every day of that brings. You need to love the time your are at with them, look back at every moment with love and wonder and look to their future (and yours) with the same. In 10 years time when Fran leaves home she needs to know that she isn’t leaving you she is simply growing from you. You have to start this process as early as possible. Why is it we clap and smile at the amazing changes of our babies, marvel at our growing children, their expanding minds and marks of independance? It is because we know we are creating people, people who we can be proud of and will be proud of us. One of my greatest wishes Merry is that you can see this and see it soon because believe me the joy is overwhelming. I promise you you are far from having ‘had’ your children. I know I haven’t mine yet and I will never give birth again. You will never stop.
” In 10 years time when Fran leaves home….”
ARGH!!!!!!!!
I know Ros, i know. To be honest though, this bit of my life is managing to be the best ever so far, and the most horrifyingly fast and frightening. I can’t come to terms with it all at all. Everything just seems to whisk past in a haze. I’ve never been happier but i just wish i could freeze frame for a while and enjoy it for a really long time, till i’m ready to move on.
Don’t or you will never truely enjoy.
hmmmm I always thought you were rather beautiful actually, not terribly wild though… :o)
i meant to mail you before this actually, but what struck me when i saw you at mud pud is just how *young* you are looking.
i have the same, ‘wish i’d done it better’ thoughts atm. and i certainly feel gutted at not having more, but there is a point at which i know i have to let go and live in this moment.
roslyn has some really helpful insights (thank you!)
i can see the awe i have for my smallest baby starting to get on the other children’s nerves. it’s not fair for me to long for what they were, rather than who they are now.
and also, it is really nice to be at a point where i can parent the younger ones as i would have liked to have parented from the beginning.
that is a gift in itself,
(whilst still trying to work out how to deal with the big ones!!!!)
You are way to hard on yourself Merry.
Remember….no such thing as a perfect parent, we just have to be “good enough” and you far exceed that.
And as for the young, wild and beautiful bit…well, tbh, you are beautiful, young is over-rated and you’ve plenty of time to be wild. I’m with Alison and Ros…Sim and I are planning some pretty adventurous 40’s.
Don’t forget “youth is wasted on the young” 😉
When i was in my early twenties i said i wanted to have my children when i was young, and close together, so i could enjoy my 30’s and 40’s. But now, wonderful as it is, i just feel like i was in too much of a rush and it’s all over too soon. I wish i could go back and spend more time doing it all slower. I’ve hurried through something that in retrospect i wish i’d savoured.
I can’t help that feeling, it is just how i am. At least the regret and sadness i’ve felt over it has kept me focused away from things that could probably have brought me to my knees this year. You’ve no idea how stoical i’ve been really.
Thanks for the compliments though 😉