… of the variety of working mothers that i count as good and loved friends, i’d be interested to know peoples views on the content of this article, the BBC words as much as the study itself. I don’t suppose any of the above mentioned would disagree with the essence of the study anyway, regardless of how life works, but something in the take the BBC has on it has put my back up anyway, despite falling (i think) directly into the category the study “seems” to be advocating.
Thoughts anyone? Please don’t make me stick it into “Renamed contentious, i certainly don’t want to upset anyone.
I thought it was an odd report, as if they were trying not to be contentious themselves. Study shows that care by mothers is better, so they get someone in to say yes, but not all mothers, and not necessarily that much better, so don’t worry about it. It feels a bit like the HV I used to work with who almost didn’t promote bf at all in case failure to succeed at it would cause guilt which would trigger pnd.
dunno what you think of it, but I think it’s a load of tosh. No fathers do any childcare then? Or didn’t that fit into the National Childminders association brief? 😉
Seriously, I’ve done it both ways. Big was in nursery from 14 weeks, Small hasn’t started yet. Note that yet. I think nursery was best for Big – I would not have been a good mother to her then. And I think home was best for Small, I was ready for it by then. I don’t understand why they have to make something more difficult which is already really difficult for ppl.
I thought that the BBC sounded like they were so far in the govts pocket that they didn’t dare say anything that might suggest people did something the govt hasdn’t said they could 🙁
I’ve done it a variety of ways, Ammi is the only one who has had trouble settling into a nursery, yet i would call her my most socially confident child.
But yes, i agree about Fathers, an odd omission. I’m lucky to have reached a point where i can do it the way that now feels best for us, i don’t specifically think that nurserys are a good place to bang children into just so you can “have time away to be yourself” as the mum on news 24 just said but then it doesn’t take into account the vast array of reasons some people have to do what they have to do, regardless of what they might like.
too many contributing factors for it to carry much weight IMO. I know of children who most certainly should be in nursery / school as a preference to being at home with their parent. Whether that is due to the quality of life that the parent’s work brings (money / happy and fulfilled parents / whatever) or simply that they thrive more at nursery in that environment than they would at home.
For me/us/my children, nursery was most certainly NOT the ideal. I think school would fail both my children and pre school would simply be the preparation for that failure. I would have lots of guilt to deal with if I worked and they were in childcare, I also struggle a little with control issues and certainly at the age they are now I want to actively manage their experiences or at least have some hand in them for a while yet.
The best solution is what is best for each individual family and if the consensus feeling among all effected parties is that it working ok then that is what is right.
The best use for me, of this research, would be if it was used to actively support people choosing to keep their children home. But it won’t be used in that way, because that won’t suit the “get mothers back to work” programme, it’ll be used to “find ways to make nursery more like home therefore removing your objection to sending them to our nurseries”.
Not that i’ve got any guilt about this today… or anything. 🙁
hmm, trying to decided from comments whether it will make me cry/feel a failure. i’ll risk it
“Mothers were seen as the best carers, followed by nannies and childminders, then grandparents, and nursery care was the worst, the study said.”
Who sponsored it again?
National Childminding Association.
Really, what a surprise, fancy that.
would need to read whole thing I think – didn’t make we weep! We were very celar we didn’t want SB in fulltime nursery – so i went part time, and chris dropped a day a week to give her 2 days. this i think has suited her well. I certainly think the nursery she went to was very emotionally caring environment, and couldn’t have been happier TBH – to the extent that I cried buckets when she left.
i didn’t want a ‘mother substitute’ as a bit to close to the bone.
Now We still use nursery, but I haven’t got the emptional attachment to it. SB does seem to be ahppy there, but not in the same way. I dsicussed things with her, and she wants to leave after she is 5, when she is home educated – LOL. so fair enough.
I think that actually parenting is a minefield, and what should be ecouraged is the flexible use of all resources to suit the individual and family needs. this also means encouraging flexible working patterns for men and women in all jobs without hoop jumping and negativity.
I agre – what about the dads??
oh and merry – hugs!
pS did you buy some new geomags – noticed the pyramid!
at the end of the day parents need to do what they feel is best for their family. I do wish that experts and the gov would stop making us feel guity about every decision we make.
Unusually for a BBC piece I thought it was pretty free of any particular “take”. I found it to be an inoffensive report on a piece of academic research. I have yet to read the report itself yet though.