I’ve spent quite a lot of the night thinking about this and i’ve realised a few things. One of them i probably should have spotted earlier, one of them has been pointed out late last night by a friend with a lot of commonsense.
I didn’t realise how much i cared about that camp actually. I do remember standing in the middle of the field earlier this year and thinking with considerable pride that i had achieved this meeting of children and people and that it was something to be proud of. I do recall having a conversation with Chris about how it could/should change and feeling quite excited about actually putting my back into making it better. He suggested a lot of things, clearly concerned i would take it personally, but i didn’t at all. He and the others involved in that conversation had lots of good points and were supportive in a way that made me really want to implement them. But i didn’t realise i actually cared about it.
Publically, Mrs MuddlePuddle doesn’t find it hard to take constructive criticism about it, privately, Merry feels almost unutterably hurt by the “well i’d stopped going anyway/ its far from important to me” realities of the conversations on it the last few days. Perhaps people haven’t realised that. Its ironic that some of the people i was most worried about the clash affecting don’t really mind much one way or another. I daresay no one has intended to hurt, but they have. There have been plenty of times in the past when i’ve said something truthfully and not intended to hurt but have, so at least i’m just getting it back.
On the other hand, lots of people have said it does matter to them it continues, so thanks. When i’m feeling less stunned, i daresay those comments will be back to being the important ones.
Going forward from that, public faced, i realise that i don’t want something i’ve worked hard on to be killed, or sucked into something else actually. I want this to continue to stand alone. To do that, i’ll probably move the date slightly, so people who want to do both can do both and i’ll probably try to move the venue to accommodate the people who don’t like the area its in.
Other than that, Chris F (and earlier in the year Chris) , you are absolutely right. If i’m going to provide public group holidays by putting my own effort in, i need to do it for the whole, not individuals. I can’t do stuff that gets bigger and more subscribed each year by worrying about individual impact and individual favours. Time to get more businesslike. Its a steep learning curve.
Of all the things MP provides, it matters most that MY children get some benefit from it – i want them to have the opportunity of two holidays to make up for the time they lose when i organise it, so that is what i’ll do. I don’t know how yet, but i’ll do it. Anyone want to be on a committee?
