Just one of those days…

You know the type of day where you only have to pick up a box of cookie counters for the other side to burst open and spill them everywhere? Well today was one of those.

We got up and out early, the girls wanted to buy Rowan a present (I wonder how many times Maddy has had to be reminded of her name today! lol!) and i was still hunting for furniture for Ammi and the baby’s clothes. So were were at Tesco Extra for 9am, not bad considering our road has a school at each end and the traffic is AWFUL every morning.

At which point it all went wrong really. I only got three things but needed a trolley for Ammi who prefers to ride; when i got to the checkout, the girl there wav3ed me to the new “scan it yourself” thng next to her and suggested i try it. So i did; immediately i had a supervisor hanging over my shoulder, telling me what to do before i could read the the instructions, pulling asking if i had difficulties when all i was doing was looking for my cards, pulling my card out of my hand to do it for me etc etc. She really annoyed me. Then, when i was done she said “Actually you are NOT allowed to bring trolleys into this area!” I looked up (9 months pregnant, 3 small children, early morning etc etc) and said “Oh, your staff member told me to try it” and she said “I’m not going to argue with you, i’m just telling you you can’t bring your trolley into this bit” and stupidly i bothered to repeat myself to which she said “Madam there are SIGNS up above this area TELLING you not to bring a trolley into this area!” – and i was just so shocked by being “told off” like this that i burst into tears and stormed past her (nearly ran her over actually!) I dunno – shall i write and complain or am i just over-reacting? It really upset me, it didn’t help that i had hardly any sleep after being up till 3am with contractions and Ammi misbehaving but honestly – there was no one else around, was it really worth picking on me for????

Anyway, i was then forced to go and buy new stuff for the girls in H&M’s; new fleeces, new trousers for Ammi and another couple of £2 tops for the big girls. We also found nice fleecy gloves for skating. And then i got stuck in a traffic jam.

Came home and Kate, Draw Write Now and the midwife turned up within minutes of each other. I’d really hit a “how come my sister can pop her first out effortlessly in 12 hours and my stupid body is crap” moment by this point (which is incredibly churlish i know and i am so pleased for her but i’m really losing confidence and feeling stressed and miserable about it all today) so Kate was cool, entertained the kids, cleaned my kitchen and did pumpkin drawings which Ammi had a hours sleep and i ranted at the midwife. Who was very sweet (although she did write “feeling hormonal” on my notes!) and let me rant away until eventually i felt a bit better. But she did (i’m 39 weeks tomorrow) suggest we made contingency plans for me gonig past 10 days overdue because next week we would “need” to book my section for being overdue. Well in 3 babies i have never gone 10 days overdue and i really didn’t see the point in having the conversation, so i said so. She asked what i would do if i did and i winked and said “well if i go that overdue the homebirth service will have been re-instated!” Cue one white midwife and a dropped subject. But i do really like her and she took my point. She was a whole lot more positve than i was today that is for sure.

After Kate went Fran did more DWN and the others watched nemo while i ordered some furniture (canvas covered racking and seagrass baskets) and sorted washing. And then slept. And then vacuumed. And then sorted out that cupboard.

And then Max came home and i wailed a bit and then i had a bath and now i feel a bit better. I’ve been a complete cow to Ammi all day because she just wants to crawl all over me, lean on me, prod me, sit on me, pummel me and i can’t cope with having any more of my body claimed than is. Fortunately the big two have been good and played marginally educational computer games and slightly bizarrely spent portions of the day helping each other read and write and test each other with mental maths. I nearly wet myself when i heard Fran saying to Moo “If i have 3 cakes in one hand and 2 in the other how many have i got?” and a bored Moo drawling “fiiiiiiive.”

But i want it over now, not cos i am sick of being pregnant and in a way i never want it to end but because i expect i am in for a rough experience and i just want it over and done with :~( If i have to be traumatised by never being allowed to just give birth, i prefer not to have to wait for it any longer. I’m blooming petrified of going back to that infernal place.

Heigh ho.

Anyway, G is looking great, the baby is lovely, 6lbs 5oz she had a simple birth (but is apparently never doing it again) and i think is on top of the moon. Babe is a bit slow to get feeding so she is still in hospital. I really want to get to see her but can’t quite work out how to manage it.