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September 13, 2004 by

Missing them already.

Goodness its quiet :~/ I really missed doing bedtime stories tonight and when Fran rang up a bit ago (sorry Jax i abandoned the conversation by accident!) i nearly howled!!! They are having a great time though although it sounds like Ams is leading them a merry dance, if you pardon the pun!

I’ve got loads done today; the tax is nearly complete and i’ve got high hopes for my list of jobs. I’m a bit tired, the wind and fretting about this and that having kept me awake but its amazing what taking out drink provision, bum wiping duty, lunch making etc etc from the day leaves you with. I feel like i have actually faced the world at eye level today instead of at head down, “just keep swimming” pace. I’ve not tidied up yet though, i didn’t want to procrastinate over the tax!!!

There is an article on BBC news today about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome – i drank pretty much one glass of alcohol while i was pregnant with Fran, during week 6 when clefts (i now know) form, so this line ” obvious cases of foetal alcohol syndrome – a group of problems in children born to mothers who drank alcohol during their pregnancy, which includes abnormal facial features and nervous system problems” would have definitely done me no good once upon a time. I guess i must have largely got over my guilt complex; there isn’t much point in worrying about it really i suppose; fate dealt its hand, history is as it is and my fragilities are not BBC news’s problem i guess! lol! I’ve been thinking about it more because the baby is due soon now i suppose, and Fran speech is a bit fuzzy too at the moment but i’ve seen how well she handles herself over it and i don’t want her to pick up my feelings or complexes over the whole thing.

Had a nice chat with the nursery counsellor today and we agreed a plan over the ex-taxi-excort, for want of a better description. She was great actually and we ended up talking about a lot of things; that is the second nursery staff member in 2 weeks not to treat me like a naive lunatic for HEing and wanting to be at home with my lovely children; it must be catching!!!!

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