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August 25, 2004 by

Jitters and Japes.

Well the japes section is dealt with easily enough – we all hama-ed together all morning with the girls producing these (maddys at the top and Fran’s at the bottom.)

while i worked on the first bit of a huge Noahs Ark for their room. I’m doing the Ark then they are going to do the animals. So far its 2 rectangles big, its either going to end up as 6 or 12, I’m not sure – i’m making it up as i go along! I enjoyed it anyway, first time i have tried something so big.

In the afternoon i got out the salt dough i made last night and Fran especially played all afternoon with that, really trying to get the pieces to look nice. My plan is to let her experiment for a bit, then maybe try some projects together and then move on to clay and fimo sometime. I don’t think she is ready for either of those yet and me fretting about waste would just get her upset so its best done with something cheap for now.

Here’s a few pictures from recent times….


Maddy having a Happy Street moment. Slightly odd scenario, wedding carriage surrounded by police, but there you go.


The ONLY way to show off jigsaws!!!


Absorbed. (She will hate me for that all right!!!)


Awwww….


Brio is Ammi and Moo’s favourite atm, they play together really nicely with it.

As for jitters, well the whole baby birthing thing is starting to loom up a bit now. Its horrible to be caught between a rock and a hard place with regard to it all. I just don’t know what choices to make for the best really; it would be lovely to have the confidence that it was all just a natural process but i have no confidence in that at all – its never been better than a fear-filled medical process where i have diced with death. I have this unpleasant “bad taste in my mouth” that ticker is counting down to some morbid tragedy instead of a happy baby birthing moment :~( Its a bit difficult to overcome really; oh for the naiveity of the first time and only having to worry about how i would cope with pain. Sigh. I’d like to believe it was all going to work out for the best but… well just “but” really.

Its sad that people are feeling sort of negative about the blogring right now. I never have, its always been a source of inspiration to me. To me my blog is a record of days that i looked forward to all through 5 years of working and are passing too quickly; i do it in public because i quite like to think that someone might read it and say “i could do that” and it might save some child going through the hell i went through at junior school, its important to me for those two reasons (and to keep a record to make writing that educational report easy) and its seemed for a while pointless to separate my life journey from my day to day life because they are so intertwined. I want to look back and say “oh yes, that is why i began to feel like that” or “that is why i changed the way i did that” because there might be clues for me there in the future. I don’t feel obliged to keep it upbeat, its just that this last year has been a good one so it has been upbeat; i suppose my personal thoughts have just had time to come out because i haven’t been worrying about operations, or PND, or having no money or baffling, frightening children so much. This year has really been the first relaxed one (even including 2 house moves!) since i was 24 – that’s a long time *sigh*I kept a private diary throughout my teenage years, every day till i had been with Max for a few months, i guess i just picked up the habit again. but perhaps i over-indulged. Perhaps i should move over to wordpress and have a secret area for private mumbles!

*Moan over*

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